Dated for: seven years
Broke up: in 1998
Living together: because they're bandmates and best friends
Sure, since they broke up seven years ago, Kris Deelane, 39, and Adam East, 38, have each thought about moving out of their lakefront cabin in Portland, Ore. They've even done it a few times—but not for long. "No matter how hard we try," says Deelane, "we can't seem to get away from each other."
Maybe because the exes, who harmonize as folk-rock duo Adam + Kris and front a rock band, Sweetjuice, still complete each other's sentences, share secrets and see each other naked ("There's nothing new for us to see," explains East). She now sleeps on the second floor; he's downstairs—and there's no messing around: "It would be like kissing my brother," says Deelane. Both have dated others, though their intimacy has scuttled many a romance. East "seems to have more trouble than I do finding someone who is not jealous of this situation," says Deelane. "Chicks seem to have an issue with it." Meanwhile, when a beau of Deelane's "turned into Mr. Hyde," she says, and spent an entire night "berating me, I called Adam and was like, 'Help me!'" Chores divide nicely: Deelane is shy and prefers to pay bills while East takes care of "dealing with people," she says. "We are each other's safety blankets." And they are proud, says East, to "set a new example: You don't have to hate your ex."
BIGGEST DATING HURDLE: Women "can't stand the fact that I can look at Kris and say 17 things with one glance."
MEGHAN CASEY & TONY BAUCH
Dated for: three years
Broke up: in 2004
Living together: because their dogs missed each other
Meghan Casey and Tony Bauch have fond memories of the night in '01 they first kissed after going to hear live music. "He had this quiet but sexy demeanor," says Casey, 33. Recalls Bauch, 34: "She was just a lot of fun." Colleagues at a public relations firm in Minneapolis (she worked in communications, he in graphic design), the two began dating and in 2003 bought a $249,000 two-bedroom house together. "Things were pretty great with us," says Casey. They both loved riding motorcycles, camping and spending time with their foxhounds Daisy and Sam. But within a year, a key part of their passion had died: "The intimacy part," says Casey.
The two broke up, put their house on the market and went their own ways. Casey took Sam; Bauch took Daisy—who truly missed her partner. "Daisy liked to bite Sam's collar and drag him around and jump on him," says Bauch; after the split, "she got depressed and lay around doing nothing." When after six months the house didn't sell—and Daisy didn't cheer up—they moved back in together. Bauch sleeps in the basement, Casey on the second floor. "We both care a lot about the dogs," says Bauch. Though each feels tiny jabs of jealousy when the other dates, the two are happier than ever. Or rather, the four are. "Daisy still picks on Sam, and he gets annoyed," says Casey. "But the dogs are doing well."
NO CHORE WARS: Neatnik Bauch does more cleaning, so Casey pays more of the living expenses.
CANDY STEFFEN & DAN FRITSCHIE
Dated for: a year
Broke up: in 2005
Living together: for cheap rent—and a shoulder to cry on
If Candy Steffen had actually seen Dan Fritschie's food-wrapper-strewn bachelor pad while they were dating, she says, "we probably never would have moved in together." But Steffen, 31, an executive assistant at a Tulsa aviation company, was smitten with Fritschie's wit and kindness, and by their second date, says Fritschie, 29, an art director for a printing company, "we were talking about running away to Vegas." Instead, after three months, they rented a two-bedroom duplex apartment for $545 a month and moved in together. They thought they were headed for marriage—until they realized they barely knew each other. Says Fritschie: "There was so much of us going, "'Oh, you're so wonderful! Wait, wait: What's your middle name?'" Eventually, says Steffen, "the 'shiny new' wore off."
Fritschie moved into the second bedroom, but they decided that with three months left on their lease, it was "smarter" to live together, says Steffen. And kind of fun. She still gets irritated by his messiness. "I stopped cooking because he'd cook and leave this explosion," she says. But there are unexpected benefits too. Last New Year's Eve they consoled each other after bad dates. Says Fritschie: "I was like, 'Do we have any ice cream? We need comfort food.'" Meanwhile, their friends were "weirded out," Steffen says. After seeing Jen and Vince battle in the trailer for The Break-Up, Fritschie says, "I felt a friend just nudge me. I was like, 'No, there's not bitterness here!'" Though Steffen is moving to Oregon this summer, the two say they'll stay close. "He's going to be a great man," Steffen says, laughing, "for whoever can put up with him."
HOUSE RULE: No walking into an occupied bathroom. "I had to yell at him, 'You're not supposed to see this anymore!'"
- Contributors:
- Oliver Jones/Portland,
- Amy Green/Nashville,
- Darla Atlas/Tulsa.
Saved by the Bell Reunion
The hookups, the meltdowns, the memoires
The case reveals what was really going on what they think of each other now!
