HISTORICAL DRAMA
Would this movie have delivered a more rousing charge if the leads had switched roles? As is, Portman's witchy sexpot and Johansson's placid pudding pot are a tepid twosome in this true tale of teenage sisters who battle it out for Henry VIII's affections in 16th-century England.
Based on a popular 2001 novel by Philippa Gregory and directed by Justin Chadwick (PBS's Bleak House), The Other Boleyn Girl tells the little-known story of Mary Boleyn (Johansson), who was the younger sister of Anne Boleyn (Portman). It was Mary who first bewitched the married Henry (Bana) and bore him a child, only to see calculating Anne steal him away and wed him.
As the film gallops swiftly through several college courses' worth of Tudor history (and a couple beheadings), it emphasizes plot over character development and subtlety. Portman works way too hard trying to be a vixen, while Johansson seems bored with her put-upon heroine. Best here is Thomas as the girls' mother, a woman whose wit and tongue are sharp enough to cut through all the heavily costumed frippery.
Christina Ricci, James McAvoy, Reese Witherspoon, Catherine O'Hara | PG |
COMEDY
Where her nose should be, Penelope (Ricci) has a snout that would look just lovely on a pig. It's the result of an ancient family curse. Only by marrying and kissing a fellow blue blood can she gain a human honker. Penelope is a slight romantic fable that cheerfully takes satirical swipes at current cultural obsessions with appearance and fame. It likely read as wittier on the page than it plays, but this is a winningly tart—though overlong—film. Savvy tweens and teens will find it thought provoking, not to mention romantic; adults will be mildly charmed. Ricci makes for an engagingly pug-nosed and pugnacious heroine. As a potential swain, McAvoy exhibits a louche sweetness. Witherspoon, who also produced, adds zip in a small role as a brash, motorbike-riding pal, and the ever-great O'Hara displays her usual comic brio as Penelope's overprotective mom.
Jessica Lange, Joan Allen, Kathy Bates | PG |
COMEDY
A tip of the hat—if I wore one—to Kathy Bates. She always brings a welcome dose of down-to-earth humor and veritas to any role she plays. That's the case again, thank heavens, in Bonneville, a sliver of a road movie. Bates plays the smartest-mouthed of three middle-aged friends (along with Lange and Allen) who hit the highway out west in a vintage-'60s rust-red Bonneville convertible. The reason for the trip: Lange is transporting the ashes of her late, beloved husband. Over the course of their journey the gals all discover new sides to themselves and share laughs and tears. But we've been down this road many times before. Like the car they're driving, the movie gets where it needs to go, but without much vroom.
It's good to be king! Many actors have played the Tudor monarch over the years, but these men gave the best royal performances
THE GOURMAND HENRY Charles Laughton The Private Life of Henry VIII (1933)
THE BROODING HENRY Richard Burton Anne of the Thousand Days (1969)
THE BULLYING HENRY Robert Shaw A Man for All Seasons (1966)
THE HUNKY HENRY Jonathan Rhys Meyers Showtime's The Tudors (2007-now)
THE DUFF-GUZZLING HENRY Homer Simpson A 2004 episode of The Simpsons
THE SELF-HATING HENRY Eric Bana The Other Boleyn Girl
The 27-year-old Floridian stars in the dance romance Step Up 2 the Streets
WAY TO SHAKE IT! I've trained my whole life to do the coolest dancing I can pull off.
ANY INJURIES? When I'm dancing, I'm engulfed in the music. But the next day, you feel it!
EVER HAVE A DANCE-OFF? Once I walked up to this guy on the dance floor and just went to it. I totally ruined him. I'm like, "Did you see the movie You Got Served?" He's like, "Yeah." And I said, "Well, that was me, and you just got served!" I know it's horribly cheesy, but you've got to do it once before you die.
ER doc Maura Tierney shoots hoops with Will Ferrell in Semi-Pro
WAS IT FUN HANGING OUT WITH COSTARS WOODY HARRELSON AND WILL FERRELL? Woody is so laid-back, and Will is the greatest. He's so sweet!
THIS IS A BASKETBALL MOVIE. ARE YOU A JOCK? I never played sports, but I'm a Red Sox fan. I grew up in Boston, going to Fenway Park. I've been with them through thick and thin.
YOU RETURN TO WORK ON ER NEXT MONTH. DO YOU GIVE OUT MEDICAL ADVICE? I think I know stuff! When people have a complaint, I ask them questions about it and think I help. Which is horribly dangerous.
WHEN ER FINALLY GOES OFF THE AIR, HOW DO YOU ENVISION YOUR EXIT? I have big clown shoes on and a big clown nose, and I'm walking through the ER doors!
