MONDAY, MARCH 24
10 P.M. | CBS
A bride takes a bullet at the altar, bringing David Caruso to the scene, whispering coolly. Fresh, post-strike episode.
TUESDAY, MARCH 25
9:30 P.M. | FOX
J.B. Smoove, the best thing on last season's Curb Your Enthusiasm
, gets a recurring part as Brad Garrett's mentoree.
10 P.M. | CBS
So, fans, was it worth it, all them nuts? Season 2 ends with Jake (Skeet Ulrich) trying to break a colossal conspiracy.
WEDNESDAY, MARCH 26
PETER AND THE WOLF
CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS | PBS
Stark yet gorgeous, this stop-action animated tale won an Oscar. Nice tunes by some Prokofiev dude.
THURSDAY, MARCH 27
THE CELEBRITY APPRENTICE
9 P.M. | NBC
The face-off ends with a charity event. And thank you, Ivanka—you were aces in the boardroom.
RANDY JACKSON PRESENTS: AMERICA'S BEST DANCE CREW
10 P.M. | MTV
The wrap-up for the dawg's fun reality contest. It's been renewed.
SATURDAY, MARCH 29
KIDS' CHOICE AWARDS
8 P.M. | NICKELODEON
Tween queen Miley Cyrus
and the Naked Brothers Band sing. Adults on hand include Steve Carell, Heidi Klum
and Hayden Panettiere
MTV, March 24, 10 p.m. ET
is back after a three-month hiatus, and I hope it's revealed finally that enemies Lauren and Heidi are actually alter egos—like a girls' Fight Club
. (Although how could they have separate clothing lines?) Until then, the show might more accurately be described as Gossip Girl's
reality sister. What really drives both series is the rankling tension of a failed friendship between two pretty young women, one who seems to have achieved a fundamental understanding of herself (Lauren) and another who moves in a stranger orbit (Heidi, whom I would diagnose as a repressed hysteric). Yes, The Hills
often seems staged and the dialogue is slackly, sincerely banal—a ricin attack could be launched on L.A., and Lauren's friends would still ask, "Are we going out tonight?"—but there's something real about that sense of hurt and betrayal.
MORE ON THE HILLS, PAGE 40
ABC Family, March 24, 8 p.m. ET |
As students return to Cyprus-Rhodes University after break, the frats and sororities face the fallout from the end of last semester: A lurid newspaper story spilled the beans about naughty goings-on in their houses. The series, which stars Jacob Zachar and Spencer Grammer as a brother and sister on opposite ends of the campus popularity spectrum, would seem run-of-the-mill earnest if it didn't have a sneaky, tweaky sense of humor. At the Winter Carnival, the girls of Zeta Beta Zeta, in a sort of Nathaniel Hawthorne note of atonement for past sins, are required to look like frumps while volunteering at the kissing booth.
Ryan Seacrest's first-season American Idol
cohost, 36, is shedding the fat on VH1's Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp
YOU'RE NOT OVERWEIGHT. I thought, "Why are they calling me? Do you think I've let myself go?" But it was great timing. I needed to get in shape for my wedding [to restaurant publicist Kalea Nassif] last December.
YOUR GOALS? I was 161 lbs. (as pictured, right). I wanted to lose body fat and build muscle. This is the best shape I've been since high school.
DO YOU MISS IDOL? It was very difficult for me to watch those kids being rejected that harshly. It was something I was real uncomfortable with.
Henry Stills, 11, takes a bow in the March 25 HBO documentary Autism: The Musical
, which follows five autistic kids as they put on a show.
When Henry Stills was invited to perform in a musical with the Miracle Project, a Los Angeles theater group that includes kids with special needs, "he was ambivalent at best," says his dad, Stephen, 63, of Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young. Adds mom Kristen, 41: "I figured he was not going to engage at all." Turns out Henry (who has Asperger's, a high-functioning form of autism that hinders social interaction) thrived in the creative environment. So did the four other autistic children whose rehearsals, home lives and performance (which they helped script) appear in the documentary. "People will really be able to learn from it," says Stephen. "They're just kids. Watching them, it's like, 'We're gonna do the school play!' Some wander off, some are loud, and it's just wonderful."
They're ba-ack! Here's your cheat sheet to watching—and gossiping about—Lauren & Co. as the MTV hit returns
WHEN WE LEFT HER Our doe-eyed heroine had just kissed sometime love interest Brody Jenner au revoir before leaving for Paris to work at last November's Crillon Ball for Teen Vogue
with pal Whitney Port.
WHAT'S IN STORE Before you can say "drama," Brody turns up at an L.A. club with a new girlfriend—while Lauren's in Paris. So she turns up the flirt herself, hopping on a moped with a handsome Parisian. More guys may surface in future episodes, but Lauren now tells PEOPLE, "I am single." Sigh. She'll also leave her internship at Teen Vogue
(she's focusing on her fashion line), and she and Audrina move out of their apartment and into a house with Lo Bosworth, their puppy Chloe and "a shoe closet!"
TO SOUND LIKE A HILLS EXPERT ... Lament Lauren's penchant for playboys like Brody and wonder aloud: "Will L.C. ever learn?" Marvel at her nonviolent encounters with the She-Pratt.
SPENCER PRATT AND HEIDI MONTAG
WHEN WE LEFT THEM Heidi's friendship with Lauren was officially really, really over (Lauren and Spencer hate each other). The couple's engagement was on the rocks too: They couldn't agree on wedding plans, and Heidi headed home to Colorado.
WHAT'S IN STORE? Awkward moments for Spencer when he surprises Heidi at home. More bickering. "There are so many ups and downs," promises Heidi.
TO SOUND LIKE A HILLS EXPERT ... Roll eyes dramatically (à la Lauren) at any mention of a possible wedding.
BRODY JENNER Lauren's ex has been dating model Cora Skinner for four months. (A new record?)
STEPHANIE PRATT The She-Pratt is back! Spencer's sis may befriend Lauren.
LAUREN "LO" BOSWORTH "Lo has been an awesome roommate," says Conrad of her live-in BFF.
WHEN WE LEFT HER Audrina had—finally!—split from shaggy bad boy Justin Bobby.
WHAT'S IN STORE She'll have a run-in with her ex that "wasn't planned," she says. Plus, she'll hook up with a new love interest and be cordial toward Heidi—much to Lauren's dismay.
TO SOUND LIKE A HILLS EXPERT ... Wager on the extent of Lauren's fury. Wonder about Audrina's extra-white teeth.
- CONTRIBUTORS Rennie Dyball,
- With Jennifer Garcia,
- Mary Margaret,
- Samantha McIntyre.