MONDAY, MARCH 31
10 P.M. | NBC
Morticia Addams herself—Anjelica Huston—aids Patricia Arquette as the two-part season finale concludes.
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 2
10 P.M. | CBS
Welcome back from the strike, Gary Sinise! Now be a dear and go catch the really creepy bad guy.
11 P.M. | SPIKE TV
Al Roker pulls night duty as producer of this new series about the Drug Enforcement Agency.
THURSDAY, APRIL 3
MY NAME IS EARL
8 P.M. | NBC
The good news: Earl is back from the strike too. The bad news: He's in a coma—and dreaming about Paris Hilton
MAKE ME A SUPERMODEL
10 P.M. | BRAVO
Please make me one too? Niki Taylor and Tyson Beckford anoint a winner in the season finale.
FRIDAY, APRIL 4
10 P.M. | SCI FI
You don't have to be a sci-fi nut to love BG (with Katie Sackhoff, right). But the conventions? Yeah, nutty helps.
SATURDAY, APRIL 5
DATE MY HOUSE
8:30 P.M. | TLC
Bachelor Bob Guiney—remember him?—hosts this new series about prospective home buyers looking for the right match. Roses optional.
FOX, April 1, 9 p.m. ET |
"I'm a true culinary," states Matt, a sous-chef and contestant on the fourth season of Gordon Ramsay's cook-off, before serving up his signature "exotic tartare": diver scallops, raw venison, caviar, capers and white chocolate. Ramsay's reaction? Turn down the sound on your TV—especially if you've got a weak stomach. Yes, once again things in the kitchen quickly get nasty, with Ramsay barking like a sadistic sergeant at his 15 frazzled underlings, who are competing for a job at his new L.A. restaurant, but not before he goes undercover in a wig and fake nose to sniff them all out. It's no Top Chef
—those contestants can actually cook, whereas this group appears to be doing their best not to catch fire—but it's wickedly delicious fun all the same.
Showtime, March 30, 9 p.m. ET |
I'm a sucker for lavish costumes, British accents and people eating roast pig by the fire. And yet this series, returning for its second season, doesn't quite work for me—and that's despite the presence of Jonathan Rhys Meyers, he of the royally divine bedroom eyes, who smolders as a young King Henry VIII. I think it's all the talk of bishops, taxes and succession, which tends to have the drowsing effect of a mug of mead. There's still a scintillating dose of the series' steamy sex scenes, but the stiff dialogue can be a buzzkill.
Somalian-born America's Next Top Model
contestant Fatima Siad, 22, has viewers talking about more than her looks: She's speaking out about undergoing genital mutilation at age 7.
WHAT DO YOU HOPE TO ACCOMPLISH BY TALKING ABOUT WHAT YOU WENT THROUGH? I want to be the voice for girls and women who undergo such a traumatic experience. I was told that I would be going through my rite of passage from a child to a woman. Don't get me wrong: I fully respect my culture and its beliefs. [But] I want to find better ways of ensuring the safety of these women. The reality is, many young women and girls die in the process.
HOW DOES THE EXPERIENCE AFFECT YOU TODAY? I thought I was just a normal Somalian woman and I never really thought about it until I came to college. [She moved to the United States. with her mother at age 13.] I really educated myself, and I realized what was done to me was wrong. I had never given my consent.
WHAT DO YOU BRING TO THE SHOW? A different type of humor and intellect. And I bring a voice representing strong women.
Collins, 19, will hit the orange carpet for Nick's Kids' Choice Awards on March 29.
WHAT DOES YOUR DAD THINK OF YOUR NEW GIG? He's so excited! I interviewed the Naked Brothers Band, and [later] they asked my dad to do their show. He called me, and he was like, "I'm not used to this! Now I'm getting work because of you!"
WHAT'S YOUR GOAL? I want to make the younger generation aware of original inspirations. I interviewed Elton John for the Oscars, and I think someone of that caliber is interesting for younger kids to watch.
I'M PICTURING ELTON JOHN AT YOUR HOUSE EVERY FRIDAY NIGHT GROWING UP. He's Uncle Elton to me!
In her new Showtime series Tracey Ullman's State of the Union
(premiering March 30 at 10 p.m. ET), the British comic suits up as everyone from Suzanne Somers to Judi Dench. Her David Beckham
(!) falls flat, but as Dina Lohan and Renée Zellweger—the latter says she suffers from "chronic narcissistic squinting"—Ullman scores laughs (and maybe earns a few grudge matches).