SUNDAY, JULY 20
9 P.M. | ESPN
A night honoring sports—what are those?—with host Justin Timberlake
(right) and Wimbledon champ Venus Williams.
MONDAY, JULY 21
HEIDI FLEISS: THE WOULD-BE MADAM OF CRYSTAL
9 P.M. | HBO
Sad, strange documentary about the Hollywood Madam's Nevada dreams.
9 P.M. | ABC
New game show that has celebrities (Sherri Shepherd, for one) wagering on just folks trying to pull off stunts.
WEDNESDAY, JULY 23
SORDID LIVES: THE SERIES
10 P.M. | LOGO
Broadly campy new show about a young, gay man and his Southern family.
CRISS ANGEL MINDFREAK
10 P.M. | A&E
New season of trippy illusions from a guy whose hair looks spellbound too.
THE BABY BORROWERS
9 P.M. | NBC
Next-to-last (and best) episode: Morgan (left) cares for a teen and shoulders an additional burden.
SATURDAY, JULY 26
HANNAH MONTANA/MILEY CYRUS
: BEST OF BOTH WORLDS CONCERT
8 P.M. | DISNEY
's big-screen hit is the crown on a marathon day of Hannah Montana episodes.
High School Musical: Get in the Picture
ABC, July 20, 8 p.m. ET
This summer series, not available for review, probably can be imagined like one of those small, humming UFOs that preceded the Mother Ship in Close Encounters of the Third Kind. You know who Mamma is: The High School Musical franchise has been such a juggernaut that the third one will premiere in movie theaters in October. Zac Efron singing about love in IMAX will change our lives FOREVER!
Hosted by Nick Lachey
, Get in the Picture is a massive talent search that ends with the winner starring in the movie's closing-credits video. If I were Nick, I'd follow the lead of Sharpay—undercut the finalists and win the thing for myself.
Bravo, July 21, 10 p.m. ET
Jo De La Rosa, unmarried alumna of The Real Housewives of Orange County
, tries to find love with the assistance of—why, hello, trite gimmick!—her friendly ex-fiancée Slade Smiley. In fact, a string of eligible gents will date De La Rosa while they live with the eagle-eyed Smiley, who tries to suss out who can best make her happy. Can't we just move on to The Real Housewives of Atlanta
already? On the ladder of reality-romance significance, De La Rosa ranks 1,000 rungs below ecstatic Bachelorette DeAnna Pappas and at least 472 rungs beneath heartbroken Tila Tequila.
Lifetime, July 22, 10 p.m. ET
Carson Kressley's flamboyance—he actually makes an entrance in a Cinderella carriage wearing a tiara—has an unexpectedly steadying effect on the emotionally delicate plus-size women he transforms on his reality show. Even parading around in their underwear, they find a grain of dignity. In the premiere episode of the new season, Carson has come to help Kelly, who lost her figure after giving birth and never got it back. "You stopped being the complete Kelly," he tells her, "and she's hiding under a bad cotton jersey muumuu." Kelly gradually rediscovers herself, and the muumuu is fed to a wood chipper—a fine, goofy moment. The show has been expanded to an hour, which may explain why a viewer can experience affirmation saturation, or too much of a "good-for-you!" thing. Then again, it's hard to put a limit on kindness.
The Pretty in Pink
star plays the mom of a pregnant high-schooler on ABC Family's Secret Life of the American Teenager
HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE OLD ENOUGH TO PLAY THIS KIND OF PART?
I feel like I've sort of come full circle in a way. It's like everybody always thought I was so much younger because they associated me with these movies that have become sort of iconic.
AND NOW YOU'RE RAISING YOUR OWN DAUGHTER, MATHILDA, 4.
This [work] schedule is amazing because it gives me a lot of free time to spend with her. I'm a little more strict with her than my husband [writer Panio Gianopoulos] is. But that's because he's a father, and she has him wrapped around her little finger.
DO YOU STILL WATCH YOUR OLD HIT MOVIES?
I'm going to wait until Mathilda is old enough. I'm hoping they're still cool.
With American Idol done, Simon Cowell
has been busy producing NBC's hit America's Got Talent
WHAT'S YOUR TAKE ON TALENT JUDGE DAVID HASSELHOFF?
One of the most fascinating people I've ever met. He's done it all [career-wise], but he still has this unbelievable obsession about discovering new people. He wears his heart on his sleeve. I adore him.
THERE ARE RUMORS PAULA ABDUL
WILL DO DANCING WITH THE STARS
She wants to. But I know her priority is Idol
, and I don't think she can do both. It would be fun to watch.
DID YOU REALLY GIVE RYAN SEACREST AND RANDY JACKSON SWORDS FOR THEIR BIRTHDAYS?
Absolute rubbish. This is standard with these two—they will make up anything.
The actor, 40, plays a hip ex-agent on USA's Burn Notice
. Come fall, you'll spy him with Angelina Jolie
in The Changeling
YOU'RE AN EXPERT FIGHTER. My family grew up poor, so I got into fights with kids who would make fun of us. In college I threw myself into karate. I have a black belt. I've been doing Brazilian jujitsu for the past year.
DO YOU HAVE YOUR CHARACTER'S HANDYMAN SKILLS? You'll find me building things and then hiring someone for triple the cost because I screwed it up. I built a 180-foot split-rail cedar fence—brutal.
WERE YOU EXCITED TO MEET ANGELINA? I was. You're awestruck for 10 minutes, and then you do your job and all that falls away.