What's On This Week


9:02 P.M. | ABC
Back-to-back episodes: a double opportunity to enjoy Jennifer Esposito (right) as sly, catty Andrea.


8 P.M. | FOX
New reality series: Superaffluent people pretend not to be, so they can award serious cash to actual struggling people.

10 P.M. | CBS
Heidi Klum hosts the annual lingerie parade. Usher, fully clothed, sings.


9 P.M. | CBS
Taylor Swift (left) cohosts while six nominations will be revealed for the '09 awards. Maybe spoken-language folk recording!


9 P.M. | ABC
Callie (Sara Ramirez) can't figure out whether she's getting the come-on from capricious intern Sadie (Melissa George, right).


New divorcée Heather Locklear (left, with Jamie Bloch) gets an emotional lift from a surf-instructor hottie (Robert Buckley).

CBS, Tuesdays, 8 p.m. ET

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You might have thought NCIS, or Naval Criminal Investigative Service, stood for Nobody Cares, I'll Skip. You'd have been wrong: The show has become a ratings smash. But how? Even now, it's buzzless. Economies rise and fall depending on Katherine Heigl's fate on Grey's Anatomy. Fewer viewers probably worry about medical examiner "Ducky" Mallard (David McCallum) on NCIS. Sure, the show has its share of brutal, clever murders—but no edge. A recent episode about a serial killer was like Dexter with safety scissors.

Yet NCIS, which stars Mark Harmon, purrs along on a light camaraderie rare for mysteries: There's a flip, near-hip give-and-take in a cast including Michael Weatherly, who has the smile of a flirt, and goth cutie Pauley Perrette. The hour whooshes by on the breeze of their patter.

Bravo, Wednesdays, 10 p.m. ET |

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The new season promises to get a special kick from filming in chef and judge Tom Colicchio's home base New York City, with its crazy range of high to low cuisine. Week Two featured both celebrity restaurateur Donatella Arpaia and an adorable little lady with a hot-dog stand in Queens. Maybe a later episode could feature Seinfeld's Soup Nazi sneering at attempts to reinvent borscht.

The top chef, at this point, is Florence-born Fabio Viviani. He has a genius for olives and a nice way with fragmented English, as when he summed up losing an early challenge: "In Italian they say it doesn't matter how many dragon you kill. Is who take home the princess."

Bio, Dec. 2, 10 p.m. ET |

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For his new job hosting a talk show, William Shatner suppresses his usual self-parodying bluster, which is a relief. Then again, solemnly attempting to get Valerie Bertinelli to open up about food addiction and career-vs.-family, he still comes across as some sort of a put-on. You wonder how she must feel as he keeps mentioning the time he was invited to dinner by Rose Kennedy. But such behavior is all part of his inscrutability, and his staying power.

When you're on Gossip Girl, makeout scenes are crucial. "I kind of just block everything out," says Amedori, 21. But that was a challenge when, as artist Aaron Rose, he kissed Blake Lively's Serena on a giant screen in Times Square. "Our faces are as large as possible!" How to prepare? One word: "Gum."

The View cocreator shares thoughts on some of her 10 Most Fascinating People of 2008, airing on ABC Dec. 4.

WILL SMITH He is the No. 1 box office attraction in the country, and he is coming out with a film this year [Seven Pounds] that's a very, very different kind of film.

TOM CRUISE Tom also has a movie, Valkyrie, which tests his star appeal. But for Tom this year has been a year of reckoning. He talks about his regrets, including couch jumping.

TINA FEY She is always good, but did her portrayal of Sarah Palin affect the election?

RUSH LIMBAUGH He has been the opposition to Barack Obama, and Obama won. So much for how influential Limbaugh is.

MICHAEL PHELPS He shows us how he's double-jointed!

MILEY CYRUS She's 16 and [on] the brink. She's appealing.

HER NO. 1 PICK Usually I say, "You'll never guess." I'm not so sure I can say that this year!

Scottish import Kevin McKidd, 35, known for his work on Rome, joins ABC's hit show as a short-fused trauma expert who served in Iraq.

WHAT'S WITH DR. HUNT? HE'S SUCH A WILD CARD. He does a lot of things that kind of are hard-core, and [he] shocks and disgusts some people. His methods are pretty uncompromising. But he doesn't care.

WHERE DID YOU GROW UP? A town called Elgin, in the Northeast of Scotland. Near Inverness. It's famous for Scottish whiskey, all the distilleries are in that area. My dad was a plumber and my mum worked in a hotel. There was never any acting in our family at all. The best you could hope for was to become a professional football player.

HOW HAVE YOUR CHILDREN JOSEPH, 8, AND IONA, 6, ADJUSTED TO LIFE IN LOS ANGELES? [At home] they have London accents like Mary Poppins kids. But after school, when they get in the car, they speak in a better American accent than I do!

YOU ALSO COSTARRED WITH PATRICK DEMPSEY IN MADE OF HONOR. DID THE TWO OF YOU BOND? Yes. Patrick likes his whiskey. He likes a good single malt.

MUST ASK: DO YOU HAVE A KILT? Two! If I get invited to the Emmys, I'll wear one.

The 42-year-old star of Band of Brothers has been stirring up trouble on that street of women as Dave Williams, the handsome psychopath married to Edie.

WHO'S YOUR FAVORITE HOUSEWIFE? James Denton. Nah, I gotta say it's Nicollette Sheridan. I love my [TV] wife.

WHY IS DAVE SO EVIL? Dave is misunderstood. He has rage, but he's a driven guy with a code of ethics. But people on the street, they hate me! They'll say, "How dare you? How can you sleep at night?"

WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT? CAN YOU TELL? No. I'm the only one who knows. My wife [Ruve] begs me to tell her, but I can't, just can't do it.

WILL YOU BE BACK NEXT SEASON? Well, it is TV. Nothing is ever completely over.