Disney, July 19, 8 p.m. ET/PT
Somewhere, the late Annette Funicello is smiling, perhaps with clouds as mouse ears. Teen Beach Movie is an affectionate send-up of Beach Blanket Bingo and other frivolous hits that provided the Disney princess with a stepping stone toward movie fame. Two surf-loving friends (Ross Lynch and Maia Mitchell) are magically thrown - due to a tempest of Wizard of Oz fury - in a 1962 beach movie called Wet Side Story. There they tangle with blankly happy nice kids and a biker gang so harmless its members might as well ride tricycles. It's trite and obvious, and meant to be, with songs that are shallow, sunny and snappy. And Garrett Clayton is a dreamboat! Just go with it.
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A new season starts July 17, and this time I'm not going to make a stink
Dear Honey Boo Boo Child: When Here Comes Honey Boo Boo debuted on TLC last summer, I thought civilization was ending. The show seemed to expose viewers to a new low in what passes for American life on TV - I never got over that local swimming hole with the warning sign about flesh-eating bacteria - and at the same time I thought it exploited you, your Mama June and your siblings. But here we are a year later, and I redneckognize (as you'd say) that you meant and did no harm. Is your show responsible for the fact that 90 percent of all TV is now about serial killers? Is it your fault that a great sitcom like Happy Endings enjoyed a viewership of 6.5 households? Are you accountable for NSA spying? IRS profiling? No. You are just a little girl doing your best to be a beauty queen, TV star and dutiful daughter to the surprisingly levelheaded June. And so I welcome the new season, even though the "Watch 'n' Sniff" premiere emphasizes flatulence. More than usually. And where I once might have been disgusted that a family would make pork and beans from roadkill, this is actually "green." Isn't it? May heaven bless you, Boo Boo. Although I can still give you only
YOU'VE GOTTA SEE THIS ...
Season 4 starts as Piper Perabo, the cutest operative in the CIA, heads down to Colombia to suss out a tip that could cause an agency implosion. USA, July 16.
Jeff Daniels and his smart, fast-talking staff have bumbled their way into a major lawsuit. Season 2 premiere. HBO, July 14.
WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?
The fast-moving improv-comedy show - which began life in Great Britain in the 1980s - is revived with actress Aisha Tyler as host. CW, July 16.
USA's Suits, starting season 3 July 16, is smart and elegant - between this and The Good Wife, viewers hungering for legal drama can't complain. Egos at the firm are bruised after a merger, and attorney Harvey Specter (Gabriel Macht) is on the outs with protégé Mike Ross (Patrick J. Adams). Macht is slick yet somehow also dry, while Adams, slight as a sea horse, possesses an unexpected gravity - two tense, tricky, fine performances.
Your weekly videos have gotten more than a billion clicks! How did you start?
I put out [one of my first] "How to Trick People into Thinking You're Good Looking." In one weekend it got a million views.
What were you doing before this?
I got my master's in sports psychology. But to pay my bills I go-go danced. It's fun: You wear furry boots and get people to have a good time. I'd do the Worm, which takes some practice.
What goes into each video?
I edit them by myself. I'll drink a lot of caffeine and stay up till 3 a.m. I try to make myself laugh; if I was ever locked in one of those crazy rooms with the padding, I'd be fine, because I can entertain myself for hours.
What's the best video idea you've received?
Someone suggested "How to Haunt a House" - like, pretend I'm a ghost. It's wild. I have to do it.
With her syndicated talk show Kris debuting July 15, the Kardashian mom-ager answers your questions on everything from divorce to Baby North - and why she doesn't go by 'Grandma'
Your daughter Kim Kardashian just welcomed baby North with Kanye West
. How well is he known and liked in your family?
Jill Mills, Ontario
We adore him. He's always around. He's not on the show as much just because he has a full-time job. But he's an amazing dad. He's spectacular.
What do your grandchildren call you and [husband] Bruce Jenner?
Kathy Przybylski, Pittsburgh
They call me Lovey and Bruce is Grandpa. At first I was Grandma, and all of a sudden I didn't like the way that sounded. My mom had a friend named Lovey. I thought that was the cutest name.
What's your relationship like with Bruce if he isn't living with you all the time? Are you getting divorced?
Katrin, Bedminster, N.J.
No! It's a pretty fabulous relationship. We were lucky enough to get a place by the beach. He spends time there back and forth. We all do. I don't have a crystal ball, but I hope we'll be old and gray together.
How do you handle the negativity of being in the spotlight?
Michelle Kaiser, Castle Rock, Colo.
I wasn't bullied in high school, so this is like the ultimate bullying experience. I read this crap every week. It's like a lesson in creative writing. One magazine said I was "Drunk and Alone," with a picture of me with a huge wine glass. The photo was taken while we were shopping for glasses in an antiques store.
Do you care that Kim and Kourtney have children without being married?
Kate Smith, Atlanta
No. I think it's amazing that they're in love, have healthy babies and are happy. That's all a mom can ask for these days.
Anything caught on-camera that you wish was private?
Mike Vulpo, Rancho Santa Margarita, Calif.
I don't have regrets. We've been transparent on our show, and we've chosen to show everything. I don't ever have a desire to live away from the cameras.