12/14/2004 at 02:00 PM EST
"I hate being bothered by paparazzi. Anyone would. The flip side of that coin: I'm one lucky bastard, and I have nothing to complain about."
– The Aviator's Leonardo DiCaprio, on fame
"It's a nice gift, but there's a lot of wrapping and paper and junk to cut through."
– The Life Aquatic's Bill Murray, echoing Leo's sentiment about celebrity
"I'm getting better at being married and living with somebody who, for lack of a better phrase, irks me sometimes. I can disagree with what he says but I don't love him less. I'm getting better at loving my husband unconditionally."
– Madonna, to the Early Show, about how Kabbalah has helped her marriage
"It was reported that Guy Ritchie has cast his wife, Madonna, in a small walk-on role in his new movie, Revolver. Madonna will play the part of the woman who ruins the film."
– Tina Fey, on SNL's "Weekend Update"
"I still love her and care tremendously for her, and it's important to add that we have every intention of being in each other's lives."
– Ellen DeGeneres, on her ex-girlfriend of four years, Alexandra Hedison. DeGeneres is now dating Portia de Rossi
"It's a very serious downer of a movie. So I'm gonna be shocked if anyone goes to see this thing."
– Jim Carrey, whose new film Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events was No. 1 at the box office in its opening weekend
"I had a security guard stalking me every time I went to the bathroom."
– Kate Beckinsale, on the $15 million in jewelry she and her castmates wore in The Aviator (in which she plays screen legend Ava Gardner)
"For the holidays, Paris Hilton has a brand-new perfume with a secret ingredient ... Coincidentally, San Francisco slugger Barry Bonds also has a cologne for the holidays with a secret ingredient, but he swears he has no idea what's in it."
– David Letterman
"I feel good."
– James Brown, quoting his classic song after undergoing surgery for prostate cancer