– Anna Nicole Smith, to a Las Vegas reporter, the day after a federal appeals court reversed a judgment awarding her $88.5 million from the estate of her elderly billionaire husband, J. Howard Marshall
"Don't print that! You can't print that!"
– Howard K. Stern, Smith's lawyer
"Oh my God! The Mother Focker!"
– Sideways actress Virginia Madsen, upon seeing Meet the Fockers star Barbra Streisand
"He always knew his lines – and yours too."
– Law & Order's Sam Waterson, eulogizing his late costar Jerry Orbach
"Sometimes I walk down the street and I feel like the mayor of New York. (But) better. A lot of people don't like the mayor."
– Bill Murray, on attracting crowds of fans
"People with plates over their faces moaning and groaning and singing was for me (a) dead loss. I hated all that stuff."
– Monty Python troupe member Eric Idle, on why his new musical Spamalot will be more entertaining than Andrew Lloyd Webber's The Phantom of the Opera
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"I'm not psychic. I dreamed John Kerry won the election!"
– Patricia Arquette, comparing herself to her clairvoyant character on the new NBC show Medium
"If I go to a club, I am not going to come out of it trashed. I'd rather stay home with my friends if I'm going to do that – especially if you know there are going to be 20 guys with cameras waiting for you outside."
– Lindsay Lohan, on the price of fame, to CosmoGirl magazine
"This week, President Bush was chosen as Person of the Year by Time magazine. Not only that, Martha Stewart was chosen as Person of the Year by Doing Time magazine."
– Conan O'Brien