 |
After my 11th operation, in early 2002 I was just saying my prayers, asking God to let me get something where I can get back to my career and at least be in a situation where I could divert my mind and my energy from the constant pain to something else. Then about three months after my surgery, I got a call to go down to FOX and meet about American Idol.
I did the whole first season in pain. I tried taking the different medications the doctors prescribed, but it was the same old story. No one on the show knew I was in pain. I gritted my teeth. Or I chewed the side of my mouth. Or I sat on my hands and pulled my fingers or pressed down on my hand – something to distract me from the pain.
I lost a lot of weight. After giving up my eating disorder, I promised I'd never get on a scale again, but I think my weight dipped into the 80s. Last summer I was around 95 lbs. when a friend urged me to see Dr. Daniel Wallace [a rheumatology expert at UCLA and Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in L.A.], the man who changed everything. At the time my sadness and pain was almost unbearable. My assistant said, "Just see him. You don't have anything to lose."
