05/18/2005 AT 08:00 AM EDT
Ellen DeGeneres has revealed that she was molested by her mother's third husband when she was a teenager.
DeGeneres, 47, recalls in an interview with Allure magazine that when she was "16 or 17" and her mother, Betty, had a mastectomy, her stepfather told her: "he thinks he feels a lump in (my mother's) other breast, but he doesn't want to alarm her so he needs to feel mine to make sure."
The former sitcom star says the man, whom she does not name, but says is now dead, "made me lie down because he said he felt hers while she was lying down," she tells Allure.
DeGeneres does not say how long the abuse lasted, but adds that her stepfather once tried to break down her bedroom door. "I had to kick a window out and escape and sleep in a hospital all night long."
The daytime host also discusses her high-profile breakup with actress Anne Heche, who ended their four-year romance and is now married to Coley Laffoon.
"Anne broke my heart into a million pieces," says DeGeneres who has not spoken to her former partner since their breakup. "When Anne left, I'd wake up in the morning, and my eyes would just immediately fill up with tears, and I would start convulsively crying."
Eventually though, she got over the heartbreak, saying "I finally just thought, I'm not going to let this destroy me."
These days DeGeneres is head over heels about her current flame, 32-year-old Arrested Development actress Portia de Rossi. "I pray that Portia and I are together the rest of our lives," she says. Plus, with her own career skyrocketing DeGeneres says: "I just feel so lucky with everything in my life right now."