Britney: Being Pregnant Is 'Mind-Blowing'

09/08/2005 at 06:00 PM EDT

Britney: Being Pregnant Is 'Mind-Blowing'
Gilles Bensimon for ELLE magazine
For Britney Spears, the thought of having a baby – something she is due to do this month – is "mind-blowing," but it’s also "therapeutic."

"I've always known that I was going to have a baby one day. But there's times when I get a little scared. It's mind-blowing to have a child," Spears, who has put her career on hold to await the birth of her first child with husband Kevin Federline, tells Elle magazine in its October issue.

The therapeutic side of the process, she says, comes from the way "All the secrets from your family come out of the closet for some reason. But it's good. They have to come out sometime. You know what I mean?"

Asked what she means by "family secrets" she says: "Right before I met Kevin, I didn't talk much. I got kind of introverted. Being an entertainer, especially starting at such a young age, you long to please people and become what they want to see. In the last two years I've totally gotten out of that."

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She says that marriage and motherhood are going to help her "not be influenced so much, or manipulated, which can happen in a huge way."

As for the gender of the expected arrival, she thinks it’s a boy but isn't sure.

Spears also says she's nervous about giving birth because "I don't want to go through the pain. My mom said giving birth was the most excruciating thing she's ever gone through in her life."

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