They Said What? for November 29, 2005

11/29/2005 at 06:00 AM EST

• "If there are any problems and you do get up here and go on too long, then (say) 'hello' to my little friend."
– Russell Crowe, brandishing a phone onstage while hosting an Australian awards show

• "This is the mutual decision of two people with an enormous amount of respect and admiration for each other."
– Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson, in a joint statement announcing their split

• "It is better to have a brief engagement than a short marriage."
– Kimberly Stewart and Talan Torriero, in a joint statement announcing the end of their two-week engagement

• "I see a little baby."
– Tom Cruise, on what he sees when he looks at the images from the sonogram machine he bought fiancée Katie Holmes, to Barbara Walters

• "I've tried to maintain an uneasy balance between your friendly, unassuming neighborhood pharmacist and Anthony Perkins in Psycho."
– Roger Bart, on playing Desperate Housewives' creepy medicine man George, to the Associated Press

• "I really had my moments with the ugly gene."
– Jessica Alba, on her awkward adolescence, to Entertainment Weekly

Usher

Evan Agostini / Getty

• "Buy her a drink. Talk to her about whatever it is that she wants to talk about. As long as you keep her laughing, you got it."
– Usher, on what he's learned about women, to PEOPLE

• "Obviously, he irritates me on a significant basis, as everyone's significant other does."
– Madonna, on husband Guy Ritchie, to Rolling Stone

• "I believe it's the most money made by a teenage boy without suing Michael Jackson."
– David Letterman, on Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire's $100-million opening weekend