12/06/2005 AT 09:15 PM EST
After nearly 25 years of marriage, actress Valerie Bertinelli, 45, and guitarist Eddie Van Halen, 50, are making their split official: Bertinelli filed for divorce Tuesday in Los Angeles, citing irreconcilable differences.
The couple – the ultimate good girl-bad boy pairing of the '80s – had been separated and living apart since October 2001, and a rep for Bertinelli called the breakup "amicable." The two share a 14-year-old son, Wolfgang.
The divorce comes after years of strain, including Van Halen's battle with alcoholism and a bout with mouth cancer. "It's a miracle how that marriage has survived," a friend of the couple's told PEOPLE before the separation. "It's all because of her tenacity. Eddie loves her. He listens to her. She's definitely the backbone in that relationship."
The two met in 1980, when the One Day at a Time actress went backstage after a Van Halen concert in Shreveport, La.
"The moment they laid eyes on each other, it was like, 'Aw, man, forget it,'" former record executive Ted Templeman, a Van Halen buddy, once told PEOPLE.
They married in 1981, but their union took a hit in 1986 when Bertinelli suffered a miscarriage. Five years later, Wolfgang was born.