– George Clooney, upon winning the Best Supporting Actor Oscar for Syriana (he was also up for Best Director and Screenplay for Good Night, and Good Luck)
• "Bjork couldn't be here tonight. She was trying on her Oscar dress and Dick Cheney shot her."
– Host Jon Stewart
• "I can't actually walk, but I can stand rather well."
– Nominee Keira Knightley, on the limitations of her tight Oscar gown
• "I literally lost control of my bowels up there."
– Philip Seymour Hoffman, on his reaction to winning Best Actor for Capote
• "I'm getting a pedicure and a facial. I'm going to walk out of here looking like Scarlett Johansson."
– Nominee Felicity Huffman, at a Hollywood spa, on her pre-Oscar preparations
• "I thought she was Charlotte and she's just not. She's a Daisy."
– Meg Ryan, on changing her adopted daughter's name, to Oprah Winfrey
Jessica Simpson
Kevin Mazur / WireImage
– Jessica Simpson, on hiding in the trunk of a car to avoid the paparazzi, to W
• "I can't see myself playing another Mafia character for … ever."
– James Gandolfini, on his post-Sopranos career, to Entertainment Weekly
• "Obviously, it's not the right time for me to be a father, but the one thing I haven't had the chance to do is be a great dad."
– Nick Lachey, to Teen People
