Charles Carl Roberts
courtesy PENNSYLVANIA STATE POLICE
10/04/2006 AT 08:20 AM EDT
Charles Carl Roberts IV, who killed five Amish girls in a Pennsylvania schoolhouse on Monday
, claimed he'd molested girls 20 years ago, police say.
During the standoff, Roberts called his wife, Marie Roberts, on his cell phone and told her he'd molested two female relatives when they were 3 to 5 years old, State Police Commissioner Jeffrey B. Miller said at a press conference Tuesday, the Associated Press reports.
And in a suicide note to Marie, Roberts wrote that he "had dreams about doing what he did 20 years ago again," Miller said.
Roberts began buying supplies six days before his attack in anticipation of a lengthy siege and potential sexual violence, Miller said: "It's very possible that he intended to victimize these children in many ways prior to executing them and killing himself.
"He certainly was very troubled, psychologically deep down, and was dealing with things that nobody else knew he was dealing with."
Police have located the relatives whom Roberts claimed he'd abused and are hoping to interview them. Other family members were unaware of molestation in his past.
At the family home in Bart, Pa., Roberts, a 32-year-old milk truck driver, left individual notes for his wife and each of his three children, who are all 6 years or younger, Miller said.
In the messages, Roberts said he was haunted by the 1997 death of his daughter Elise, who was born prematurely and died 20 minutes after delivery, Miller said.
Elise's death "changed my life forever," Roberts wrote to his wife. "I haven't been the same since it affected me in a way I never felt possible. I am filled with so much hate, hate toward myself hate towards God and unimaginable emptyness it seems like everytime we do something fun I think about how Elise wasn't here to share it with us and I go right back to anger."