05/18/2007 at 02:00 PM EDT
With Dita Von Teese anything but silent about her failed marriage to Marilyn Manson, it's now the goth rocker's turn to give his side of the story.
"I was completely destroyed. I had no soul left," Manson (real name: Brian Warner), 38, speaking to Spin
magazine for its June issue
, says of the marriage.
"I define myself as a person, a human, an artist, as someone who makes things – writing, painting, music – and I couldn't do anything."
He and Von Teese were together for six years before marrying in their seventh, in November 2005. (She filed for divorce
in December 2006.) "It's the old cliche," says Manson. "Marriage changes everything."
During their time together, Von Teese desperately wanted him to change his sleeping hours. But, Manson protests, "I'm my most creative between 3 and 5 a.m. That's the way I've always been."
He also says that once they tied the knot his wife's busy schedule kept her away from him, which drove him mad and, he says, caused him to believe that all the faults were his, as she was insisting.
"But then I realized that what's wrong about me is right. To play devil's advocate – but that doesn't really work, since I'm the devil – people would say that drugs and alcohol wrecked my marriage," he says.
"But buyer beware," Manson continues. "She said she had tolerated the lifestyle because she hoped I would change and threatened to leave if I didn't. I was sleeping on the couch in my own home. I was no longer supposed to be a rock star. I was someone who had to be apologized for. I wasn't prepared to be alone. I came out of this naked, a featherless bird."
He adds, referring to his new release, Eat Me, Drink Me
, due for release on June 5, "I needed to get my wings back by making this record."
He also felt his wings with 19-year-old Running With Scissors
actress Evan Rachel Wood
, who impressed Manson by telling him she would die for him. "It might sound strange," he says, "but this made me want to live."
In one regard, Von Teese agrees with Manson. "Everything went downhill after we got married," she told Britain's Sunday Telegraph in April
. "I started working a lot to escape my home life."