06/22/2007 AT 08:20 AM EDT
Troubled rocker Pete Doherty says he will marry Kate Moss
this summer – but only if he can kick his heroin and cocaine addictions.
In his newly published his diaries, titled The Books of Albion
and excerpted in Britain's The Times
, Doherty, 28, records his thoughts during a January stay in detox at a London hospital.
"I now surrender to the science of detoxification," he says. "Once more in my love's loving arms. We have been close this time that passed and with the smack and needle free we shall marry in the summer and I become ten times happier than any given smackhead. Huzzah!"
In the memoirs, Doherty writes of his substance abuse demons, taking up to 10 Valiums a day and spraying his apartment walls with indecipherable poetry written in his blood while in drug-induced stupors.
But the Babyshambles frontman makes it clear he's also addicted to Moss, 33, whom he started dating in January 2005. "My she is restless, endless energy, spirit, shaking her hips & shoulders to rock and roll in leather zip trousers & stripey T-shirt & one heel what a picture," he writes in a 2005 entry.
In September of that year, Britain's Daily Mirror
published video stills of Moss apparently snorting drugs. Within days she apologized and checked into rehab
, while Doherty continued to have troubles with the law
related to his drug use.
In October Doherty said he planned to marry Moss "soon,"
but by January he was in rehab at London's Nightingale Hospital – apparently at Moss's request.
"The last few weeks together have been so loving and so much positive looking to the future," he writes in a diary entry from that month. "It makes me sick to my heart but I must face it. I love the girl so dearly and that's why I'm in this f---ing clinic isn't it? Another 36 hours clean now and sticking to it this time I fancy."