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No. I really respect the men and women who work in the L.A. County Sheriff's Department. They were very professional and treated me well. All of the inmates were very supportive. There were girls next to me. We could talk through the vents and they were just really sweet.
What about daily life? How hard were basics like soap and shampoo to come by?
Every Monday they'd bring a sheet in and you could order the bare necessities. Not the best products, obviously, but you know you have to take what you can get. I ordered Top Ramen [noodles] and a lot of paper, pencils.
What did you eat?
Jail food is horrible. Breakfast would be like one hard-boiled egg and two pieces of wheat bread and an orange. Lunch was either a bologna sandwich – which I never ate 'cause I was scared to eat the bologna – or peanut butter and jelly, which used to be my favorite. I don't think I ever want to see one of those again.
Did you lose weight?
Not really. I think five or six pounds.
Did you get to work out?
It's such a small, confined space, so I would do sit-ups or push-ups.
Did you have any privacy?
There's no privacy in jail. You're in a cell, and there's basically a window that the guards walk by and they're looking through. The toilet is directly next to the bed, and the shower was directly next to all the other girls' cells. I ordered flip-flops from the canteen because I was scared. They said there were a lot of weird things you can get from the shower. All the inmates use it. It's a cold shower.
Were you ever embarrassed?
It was a really humbling experience. I don't think I'll ever be embarrassed of anything again.
How did you manage your claustrophobia?
I just meditated and sometimes imagined I wasn't there and thought of the beach. Sometimes I'd sit and read letters from people. That was my escape. Reading and writing, trying not to focus on where I was.
Was there a point where you said, "I'm gonna make it"?
I knew I had to be there and there wasn't any getting out of it. I just had compassion for these women [the other inmates]. I wanted to see this as a new beginning for me – a new beginning in the way I'm portrayed in the world. I feel like I can do so much more than what I've done.
