Picks and Pans Review: The Roasting of

UPDATED 08/28/2006 at 01:00 AM EDT Originally published 08/28/2006 at 01:00 AM EDT

William Shatner

Up for three Emmys, the Boston Legal star, 75, graciously allows himself to be roasted on a Comedy Central special Aug. 20.

ON AGREEING TO THIS ORDEAL It seemed like a cool idea at the time. No one can say anything that hasn't been said already. I'm practicing my blank look and daintily dabbing my forehead with an absorbent rag.

ON HIS CHANCES OF WINNING AN EMMY THIS YEAR If I were not to win this Emmy race, the same blank look would apply. And the same dabbing of the forehead.

ON HIS TWO PREVIOUS WINS The trophies are by a waterfall at my house. Actually, it's inside. Doesn't everyone have a waterfall in the house? I have space for more. Acres. With Emmys, space is the final frontier.

ON THE KEY TO HIS LONG-TERM SUCCESS No secrets to it, really, just be extraordinarily handsome and talented. I wish there was a tip. If you find one, let me know.

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