Picks and Pans Review: How to Tell 'em Off
Such is the sophistication of modern society that there is now an institutionalized way to say I'm mad as hell and won't take it any more. The entrepreneur in the field, called not Retorts International but Grand Mai, Ltd., has produced a kit of 16 do-it-yourself form letters that can be sent to, say, the landlord who hasn't had time to turn on the heat because he's been working out a five-year plan of rent increases, the supermarket manager whose store runs out of the sale steaks three minutes after opening up, or the bus driver who lets a would-be passenger run alongside his vehicle for a block before closing the door and roaring off. Most of the letters in the $6.50 kit are in multiple-choice form, so an irate customer of a clothing store can complete the sentence: "After finally making a selection, I was told that: (1) I was too old to wear it; (2) it was tacky; (3) it was too nice for me; (4) your store doesn't accept cash." Some letters are funny, some dreary, but the whole idea isn't a bad one for those too frozen in fury to compose their own insults. The folks at New York-based Grand Mai also enclose a letter to themselves for dissatisfied customers. It includes the choice, "You people have really gone off the deep end. I for one did not find any of this funny or helpful. I hope you have a stroke as you stand in line at the bank."
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