Picks and Pans Review: Love in the Afternoon

updated 04/11/1983 AT 01:00 AM EST

originally published 04/11/1983 AT 01:00 AM EST

Various soap opera stars

If they gave Grammys for worst record idea of the year, producer Jim Foglesong would have clinched 1983's award with this embarrassing collection of tunes sung—to use the term loosely—by 10 well-known ABC-TV daytime drama actors. The excruciatingly bad performers include Stuart Damon of General Hospital, who sings Help Me Make It Through the Night in roughly the same tones he might use on TV to tell someone he has herpes; Loanne Bishop, also of GH, who delivers a kind of bleating wail; Helen Gallagher of Ryan's Hope, who is not close enough to the melody even to be called off-key; Michael (Dr. Wolek) Storm of One Life to Live, who should be sued for malpractice; and All My Children's Susan Lucci and James Mitchell, who are wretched and wimpy. Not quite as bad on the LP are Joel Crothers and a perky Sharon Gabet of The Edge of Night. An almost passable singer is Mary Gordon Murray of One Life to Live. And the highlight of the album is John Gabriel of Ryan's Hope, who has sung professionally and delivers Now That I Have Everything, an appealing Ervin Drake song. Tune in again tomorrow. Will the CBS soap stars retaliate? Will NBC's?

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