05/30/1983 at 01:00 AM EDT
"Where are you going?" asked Rodney Dangerfield's housekeeper, a woman in her 70s who has worked for Dangerfield for 24 years. The man of the house, on his way to the set of Easy Money, a film opening in August, replied, "I'm going to make a movie." The next morning the housekeeper repeated her query, "Where are you going?" Growled Rodney, "I'm going to make a movie." Brief pause for a moment of disrespect. "I thought," came the reply, "you did that yesterday."
False (tooth) Alarm
Jerry verDorn, 33, better known as District Attorney Ross Marler on CBS' The Guiding Light, hits prime time this week in a TV movie called The Cradle Will Fall. Though the film, which features five other GL cast members, helps close the gap between day and nighttime TV, verDorn discovered a new kind of gap from his co-star, Lauren Hutton, 39. After their first scene together, she pulled out a false tooth that fills the space between her front teeth when she's on camera. "Would you hold this?" she asked. Not quite sure why Hutton chose him for the honor (they were eating apples and, well, her costume didn't have any pockets), verDorn gallantly deposited the denticle in his jacket. "I was really worried I'd lose it or get lint on it," says Jerry, who, tooth be told, was glad to surrender his prize after half an hour.
Hope Springs Eternal
Susan Anton, Brooke Shields
, George Steinbrenner and a crowd of New York's elite saluted Bob Hope at a fire department benefit in the Big Apple. The man of honor, who celebrates his 80th birthday this month, tested some gags that probably wouldn't have made it past the censors for this week's NBC birthday special. Among his targets: John De Lorean—"I had a De Lorean once, but I finally had to give it up. When you drove down the highway, it would suck up the white line," Phyllis Diller—"She's a little upset right now because a peeping Tom threw up on her windowsill." Sex—"I saw a picture called Sexual Freedom in Denmark. I didn't believe it, and I didn't believe it the second time either." And the fire department—"I love firemen. I know what it means to have to jump up in the middle of the night, put on your clothes and run."
"And Hold the Intermission"
In Manhattan, where ordering out for Chinese food is as common as a trip through the Golden Arches, Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara cooked up a takeout takeoff: theater to go. In a new skit they performed at a theater benefit last month, Meara, as a room service operator, and Stiller, as a hotel guest, have the following phone conversation. M: I could send up The Elephant Man. S: Too heavy. I'd like something a little lighter. M: Do you like Chinese? We've got Flower Drum Song. Only trouble is, an hour after the show, you want to see another play. S: No, not that. M: Then may I suggest a little Blue Nun? S: Good idea. Send up Agnes of God.
Music Lovers, Cont.
Boston's politicos are doing their best to make James Watt look like a pop-music maven. Discussing two artists scheduled to appear at this summer's outdoor music series, Mayor Kevin White said, "I wouldn't recognize John Denver or Dolly Parton if they walked in front of me today." City Councilman Frederick Langone had another complaint. He felt the concerts should have brought more money into the city last year. After all, as he told the Boston Globe, "You couldn't get near the place when Olivia, Newton and John were there."
While Ann Miller, 64, nurses a heel injury, Carol Lawrence, 47, has been holding down the lead in the touring company of Sugar Babies. Last month Carol sent Ann a get-well telegram "from one hoofer to another hoofer." Western Union's version of the message, however, read "from one hooker to another hooker." Oops!