updated 06/13/1983 AT 01:00 AM EDT

originally published 06/13/1983 AT 01:00 AM EDT

Heir Supply
A verbose Prince of Wales opened a new extension of the London Business School with, among other words, the following comment: "I'd only like to say that the breeding program is now firmly under way to make sure there are further exponents of the art of opening extensions to the London Business School." Simply put, he and Di are making babies. And by the way, the Palace says she isn't pregnant again.

Keeping Up With the Joneses
Newly married to Nancy Sepulvado, 34, and settled in a trailer home in Woodville, Texas, country singer George Jones still finds reason to warble his woes, if only he could. Stricken with an acute case of bronchitis and laryngitis, he had to shorten or drop a series of dates in his current U.S. tour. Well, Marion Cartwright, the owner of the Armadillo Palace in Athens, Ga., didn't take too kindly to this excuse. Enraged by Jones' 29-minute set, he jumped on the stage screaming, "We're not gonna stand for this. We deserve more." Then Cartwright got his rifle and threatened to shoot the tires off George's bus if he didn't return the $10,000 he received for his abbreviated performance. Cartwright didn't get the money, but spared the tires nonetheless. He has a suit pending against Jones, who is still, well, speechless about the entire incident.

Cut Above the Rest
Public figures need protection, but that isn't why luminaries like Bo Derek, Peter Fonda, Johnny Cash and Jerry Ford all own the kinds of knives you wouldn't use to cut your steak. According to Jimmy Lile, 49, of Russellville, Ark., who handcrafts knives for the famous and not-so-famous, his products make lucrative investments, more than doubling in value during the past five years. What's more, Lile's blades, which run from $150 for a pocket knife to $2,000 for a gold or silver job, have practical uses. Sly Stallone, who owns a half-dozen Lile specials, recently added a $1,000 survival model, complete with mini-saw and screwdrivers, to his collection. Bo bought husband John Derek a folding hunter's knife, Buddy Hackett gives pocket knives as gifts, and avid hunter Hank Williams Jr. skins his prey with Lile's knives. Lile says he doesn't quite know how he gathered so many notable clients. Maybe they're just naturally sharp investors.

Mother Knows Best
Brooke Shields' mother, Teri, would let her pretty baby have just about anything. Just about. But when they met international heartthrob Julio Iglesias, Mommy drew the line. Overcome by Brooke's beauty, Julio grabbed her hand and asked, "Can we marry, Mommy? Can we marry?" "Certainly," laughed Teri, "if you marry Mommy."

The Naked Truth
When the members of a nudist resort outside Philadelphia planned a field trip to New York to view a Broadway show, they chose to see the nude review Oh! Calcutta!, au naturellement. But when they announced they wanted to view the play in the manner to which they're accustomed, i.e., in the buff, producer Norman Kean balked. "I only allow the cast to perform naked, never the audience," he said. Eventually, however, he offered a compromise. The nudists have bought out the 500-seat Edison Theatre for a private performance on the show's 14th anniversary, June 17. Explains the considerate Kean, "I thought it would be warmer for them then."

Bill Cosby's First Law of Economics: "Every man's income runs into four figures: the real one, the one he reports to the IRS, the one he tells his wife, and the one he tells the guys at the club."

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