Maybe some fans have trouble getting to their favorite celebs, but one Broadway baby has the stars writing him fan mail. His name is Justin Maron, 22 months, and his father; Joe, a manager at the Great American Health Bar in midtown Manhattan, has made it a tradition for big-name customers to write one-liners for Justin on the back of blank guest checks. Susan Sarandon was sincere: "To Justin, may you never have more worries than you have now." Bill Murray kidded, "Baby Justin, you're no damn good!" Lauren Hutton went for word play: "I hope you lead a model life." Vidal Sassoon talked business: "I'll give you your first haircut." But Dustin Hoffman was the most sublime, in rhyme. He wrote, simply, "To Justin/ From Dustin."
Last year Kathryn Crosby cleaned out her closets and cleaned up in profits from an auction of her late husband Bing's possessions. This year she wants to clean up on her drapes. That's right. For those of you who haven't yet caught Kathryn pitching curtain cleanliness on TV, she now serves as National Spokeswoman for Coit Drapery and Carpet Cleaners. Insisting she accepted the job not because she needed the money but because "it gives me great delight," Kathryn has planned a unique come-on: She will open her Hillsborough, Calif, home at a future date to anyone who has drapes cleaned by Coit between Nov. 7 and 11. Apparently assuming that most of these folks will be fans of the crooner, Kathryn says, "They are Bing's friends. I want to know them." So tour groups of 30 each will soon march across the Savonnerie living room rug and the white, wall-to-wall master bedroom carpet in her 24-room home. Well, at least she knows where to get the carpet cleaned.
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"I don't want to be critical or prudish or make you think I never laughed at a dirty joke myself. But it's rather tragic if you have to be salacious or suggestive to be funny," says Dr. Tal D. Bonham, about the current Truly Tasteless Jokes syndrome. Bonham, 49, ought to know. As a minister and exec with the Ohio Baptist Convention, he has just published Another Treasury of Clean Jokes, a sequel to his similarly titled 1980 book, which sold 60,000 copies. An admirer of such comics as Dangerfield and Hope, Bonham says his best source is word of mouth, though "sometimes I have to clean them up." One of his best selections, according to his editor at Broadman religious publishers, is as follows: "A man got off a plane in Hawaii and asked a bystander, 'How do natives pronounce it, Hawaii, or Havaii?' 'Havaii,' said the native, 'Thank you,' said the traveller. 'You're velcome,' replied the native." Adds Bonham's editor, "Now that's good. That's a Bronx joke." Deserving a Bronx cheer?
•Actress Bonnie Bedelia, 33, gives a bang-up performance as racing car driver Shirley Muldowney in the critically-acclaimed Heart Like a Wheel. So why haven't we heard much from her before this? Explains Bonnie, mother of two, "Every time I started to get close to major success, I did something like have another baby."
•With complex and unresolved legislation about actors' residuals before Congress, Ronald Reagan wants to avoid conflict of interest. So he promised to donate to charity all future earnings from past acting jobs. Now that's some sacrifice. Last year, residuals for Reagan's films and TV shows added up to less than 30 bucks.
•The rabbi who presided over the 1973 marriage of Star Trek's William Shatner and his wife, Marcy, called their recent anniversary party at their North Hollywood home a "celebration of persistence." Bill's wife delivered the same message her own way. She hired the Goodyear Blimp to fly over the fete with a sign reading, "Bill, I did, I do and I will forever." Aw shucks.