NO MASS APPEAL: You might not expect unconventional artist Andy Warhol to be the churchgoing type, but he is. Sort of. "I go to St. Vincent Ferrer's in New York every Sunday," he says, "but I go between services. I don't like to be there while mass is going on. I go because I like the way churches are painted. They have pretty windows and statues. And they have more flowers than restaurants."
THE FLOOR SHOW: While rehearsing her show at the Las Vegas Hilton, Suzanne Somers had a bit of a surprise. "I was breaking in a number called It's Raining Men," she says. "It features 40 male dancers all holding umbrellas. While they were dancing, I ran offstage for a quick costume change. A fog machine was supposed to cover my exit. After I changed I dashed back onstage only to discover that the fog machine had malfunctioned and spewed oil instead of fog. I went flying into the men, who were in formation. The domino effect took hold and almost all of us ended up like a bunch of beached whales. I had cuts all over my body. I sat up and said, 'Hey, if I knew I was going to end up rolling around on the floor with all you guys, I'd have told my husband to stay home.' "
ROBERT WAGGER: A female fan who was panting to meet Robert Wagner got more than she bargained for. It happened in tony Middleburg, Va., where Wagner was shooting his new TV series, Lime Street. Wagner's drooling admirer was a star-struck German shepherd that would show up on the set and follow him around. Since the dog was not wearing a tag, the actor had its picture taken, then sent a production assistant to neighboring farms to find its owner. When she was located, Wagner asked if the woman would mind parting with the dog. The lady didn't, so Wagner took his new pal to California. "The kids love her," he says. "She's become a member of the family. She sleeps on my bed every night."
MAKING BOOK: Dolly Parton's older sister Willadeene has just turned out a bio of the Parton clan called In the Shadow of a Song. Remarked Dolly to the Hollywood Reporter: "If we all had only known that Willadeene would grow up and write a book about us, we might have been a little nicer to her when we were younger."
KEY MAN: Comedian-pianist Victor Borge told an opening night audience at the Kennedy Center why he likes playing the nation's capital in the hot, humid, dog days of August. "Nobody is in town this month," he explained. "The President is gone. Congress is gone. And I am like Alexander Haig. I am in charge."
HE CAN'T BARE IT: Peter Itrato, who operates a Boston newsstand, was quoted by the Boston Globe about the Madonna nudes in Playboy and Penthouse magazines. "I didn't even know who she was," he told a reporter. "A guy comes in and asks me if we had nude pictures of Madonna. I say to myself, 'This guy must be a pervert to want to see a nude Madonna. A real sicko.' I say to myself, 'Next thing you know, they'll be asking for nude shots of Mother Teresa.' "