THEN WHY WASN'T HER CLOSET FILLED WITH PINEAPPLES? Finally defending her conspicuous consumption, Imelda Marcos told a British reporter that she thought "it was rather kinky" of the Aquino government "to open my wardrobes." And, claims Imelda, many of the stories about what was inside her cavernous closets were unfounded. "Do you really think the public was taken in? Who could use 1,000 panties?" she asked. Still, Marcos justified owning 2,700 pairs of shoes. "Shoes are one of our biggest exports," she explained. "As First Lady, it was my duty and responsibility to promote Philippine products."
WHY, HE'S JUST LEAVING THE COCOON: Oscar winner Don Ameche, 77, told a San Francisco newspaper that the biggest thrill he received after winning his Oscar was a call from songwriter Irving Berlin. "The guy's going to be 98," said Ameche, "and there he was calling to congratulate me at what must have been 3 a.m. in New York. He said, 'Don't let that Oscar go to your head. You're just a kid, ya know, and you got a long way to go.' "
DUNCE MACABRE: Elvira, the bewitching host of TV's syndicated Movie Macabre show, was asked to name the most frightening film she's ever introduced. "That's easy," she said. "Lonely Lady, with Pia Zadora."
SMASHES TO SMASHES, BUST TO BUST: According to Katherine Helmond, her Who's the Boss? co-star, Tony Danza, "is a complete paradox: He's one of the most physically gifted people I know and probably one of the biggest klutzes. The first time I went to his house, he tore a door off the hinges. Then he said, 'Here's a picture of my father,' put his hand up and smashed the picture. In a matter of five minutes, he broke five things." Danza's clumsiness causes so much damage on the set, reports Helmond, that anything that's virtually indestructible, "gets a sticker that says, 'Tony Proofed.' "
EITHER WAY HE CAN'T LOSE: For the last five months, Catherine Hickland has been playing two roles on the daytime soap Capitol—her usual part, prim and proper Julie, and a new character, vixenish Jenny. While the dual roles give the plot an extra twist, they're causing havoc with Hickland's husband. "Sometimes she comes home as Jenny," says Knight Rider's David Hasselhoff, "sometimes she comes home as Julie. Sometimes I don't know whom I'm sleeping with."
THEY ENDED IN A BED HEAT: A Chicago reporter asked director Roger Vadim, the author of Bardot, Deneuve, Fonda and lover of each, which of the three was best in bed. "At this level of talent," Vadim diplomatically replied, "you can't give first prize."