09/22/1986 at 01:00 AM EDT
ABC (Sat., Sept. 20, 9 p.m. ET)
Call it Make Room for Daddy ('cuz He's Got a Gun). Or call it Miami Virtue. Whatever you call it, this is one strangely smarmy police show. Robert (Maximum Security) Desiderio plays a widowed cop who moves off the SWAT team so he can be home to raise his two whiny teens. He's a sensitive guy, a real Care Bear of a cop. He looks a criminal in the eye and says, "You're not alone." He talks to his kids about human worth, trust and accepting responsibility. And when his son confesses to losing his virginity, this dad doesn't yell; he asks, "So, how was it?" The guy is stultifyingly serious. Even his kids get sick of him. Says his own son: "You could lighten up a little bit." Amen.