Picks and Pans Review: Get Metsmerized

updated 09/22/1986 at 01:00 AM EDT

originally published 09/22/1986 01:00AM

The New York Mets

The New York Mets have been baseball's hottest team this year. They also, as one Los Angeles sportswriter noted, "lead the league in self-congratulation." So it was only natural that they should follow in the ignominious tradition begun last winter by football's Chicago Bears and cut a strutting rap record: "We play together, our team's real tight/ don't mess with us, we're dynamite." The Bears had a couple of advantages. For one thing, their project was relatively original. For another, a couple of them had smidgeons of musical ability. The Mets, however, are truly dreadful rappers. If Dwight Gooden pitched with the same sense of rhythm that he sings with, he would bounce the ball off his knee every time he threw. Darryl Strawberry raps about as well as he hits left-handed pitchers, and Len Dykstra sounds like a third-grader in a Fire Prevention Week pageant. Only rookie utility man Kevin Mitchell performs with anything approaching semipro musical skills. A couple of the Mets' most discussed players are notable for their absence. Keith Hernandez may have been excused for image reasons, because he did his singing last year during the investigations into drug use among major league players. But Gary Carter, the Mets' all-star catcher, has rented himself out to sell everything this side of flea powder, and it seems uncharacteristic of him to miss out on this. The record comes with the song in a shorter and a longer vocal version. There's also an all-instrumental rendition, which is infinitely superior—even though it is not to be mistaken for real music. (Passport)

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