09/29/1986 at 01:00 AM EDT
CBS (Mon., Sept. 29, 9:30 p.m. ET)
What we have here is The Golden Girls overdosing on estrogen: Four independent, over-21 women engaging in locker-room talk about breast size, lust, jealousy, sleeping around, alimony, vibrators and general gynecology. It's long since been proven—by Masters and Johnson and Joan Collins—that women of any age can enjoy sex. But Designing Women acts as if it just discovered the female orgasm; the show titters at the idea of women even thinking the word s-e-x. I'm not offended because I'm a prude; never accuse me of such a thing. No, I'm offended because these women are portrayed with the maturity of 13-year-old boys giggling over National Geographic. And I'm offended because the show tries to pass off bitchiness, cattiness and cheap, mean gossip as feminine wit. You've regressed a long way, baby. To be fair, I should report that these women have interests outside the bedroom. They also do their thing in living rooms, dining rooms and bathrooms; they're interior decorators. But I'd no sooner let them near my home than I'd let Dr. O'Brien near my spleen or Deacon Hemsley near my soul; judging from the uncomfortable furniture that fills their office, they have rotten taste. I don't like their show, but I do like its stars—lots. Dixie (Diff'rent Strokes) Carter, Delta (1st & Ten) Burke, Annie (Ghostbusters) Potts and Jean (Protocol) Smart are a great comic ensemble. They could make merely funny lines hilarious. If only they had a few funny lines.