Worst of Song
updated 12/22/1986 AT 01:00 AM EST
•originally published 12/22/1986 AT 01:00 AM EST
The Andrews Sisters as told to the Chipmunks.
It was a great year for guys from Massachusetts to throw away golden opportunities, though at least the Patriots and Red Sox weren't so pretentious about it.
The funkmeister gives a half-mast performance that nobody is likely to salute.
To mix a couple of metaphors, this is a construction you're better off burning before you come to it.
Help wanted: rapidly cooling-off hot property needs career guidance expert. No preachy papas need apply.
Class of '55
Carl Perkins, Jerry Lee Lewis, Roy Orbison and Johnny Cash Elvis, you didn't miss much.
Chrissie and the boys complain so much they seem to be doing The Misanthrope as a rock musical.
The worst fears of the Baby Boomers come true: If the Stones are sounding this old and tired, what does it say about their original fans?
The Knife Feels Like Justice
A Stray Cat's meow turns into the musical equivalent of kitty litter.
Landing on Water
In this dismal piece of self-flagellation, when you come to the track about a highway accident, you've found the upbeat stuff. This is just what you need when you're headed for a desert island and have to leave behind only one album.