Worst of Screen

updated 12/22/1986 AT 01:00 AM EST

originally published 12/22/1986 AT 01:00 AM EST

"About Last Night..."
The surly singles bar romance is enough to bring back arranged marriages, if not nunneries, monasteries and the Foreign Legion.

Brighton Beach Memoirs
Neil Simon's hit play goes belly-up onscreen. And whose brilliant idea was it to miscast Blythe Danner and Judith Ivey as Jewish mothers? Oy vay.

Cobra
Sylvester Stallone systematically stomps, slams, swats, slugs, slays several sleazy suspects, successively.

Ferris Bueller's Day Off
As a self-loving sort of teen, Matthew Broderick likes to hurl insults at adults. Borrowing an approach from the film's strange brand of humor, here's one from our side: Your movie stinks, kid.

The Mission
Presumably blinded by all the lush waterfall photography and the starry sight of Robert De Niro and Jeremy Irons attempting to portray Jesuit priests, many critics appear to have mistaken clichéd hogwash for history and truth.

Mosquito Coast
Instead of going along for the ride on director Peter Weir's pretentious trip to Noble Savage territory, Harrison Ford might have been better off if he had hit some of the beaches on the Riviera.

9½ Weeks
Kim Basinger and Mickey Rourke, uttering painfully stupid dialogue, play violent sex games in Manhattan.

No Mercy
Kim Basinger and Richard Gere (no 10 Worst list is complete without him), uttering painfully stupid dialogue, play violent sex games in New Orleans.

That's Life
Director Blake Edwards' self-pitying home movie starring wife Julie Andrews and their numerous progeny is even worse than Edwards' other 1986 debacle, A Fine Mess.

Under the Cherry Moon
Prince just called to say he loves him.

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