February's ratings sweeps have inspired one network to stage a Soviet takeover of America. But when ratings count, local stations can pull stunts almost as desperate. We've all seen hysterical promotions for local TV news exposés. This month in New York, one station is scaring its viewers about innocent children subjected to radon poisoning, and another station is taking away an anchorwoman's wardrobe and throwing her out onto the streets as a bag lady. But it was in L.A. this month that I saw my favorite sweeps promotion ever: a series on the dangers of valet parking. Yes, the horror of finding your car seat moved! The hell of hearing your radio dial changed! Only in L.A. Only in sweeps.
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