updated 03/09/1987 AT 01:00 AM EST

originally published 03/09/1987 AT 01:00 AM EST

HOMEBODY: How can Joan Collins tell estranged husband Peter Holm to get out of her life when it seems that she can't even get him out of her house? First the former Swedish pop singer-turned-businessman changed all the locks on Collins' $675,000 Beverly Hills house and refused to allow Joan's real estate broker to show it. Then attorneys intervened, the house was shown and sold, and all appeared to be well. But not so fast. According to Detroit columnist Shirley Eder, the people who purchased the house have backed out of the deal. "It's true," said broker Thelma Orloff, "and I can't blame them. It's a tri-level house, and when I finally got into it, Holm had a guard on each level, and one of his men walked around with a video camera taping me and the prospective buyer every step of the way.... It didn't become any easier for the buyer after the purchase."

STOP AND FRISK, FRISK, FRISK: For too long Karl Malden has stood idly by, watching innocent tourists lose their Brand X traveler's checks just so he can tout the virtues of American Express. At least that's what the producers of CBS' The Morning Program thought. So when Malden appeared on the show to promote his new film, Billy Galvin, they decided to play a trick.

They hired con artist Patrick Querrot to pose as a sound technician and lift Maiden's billfold while attaching a personal microphone. Shouldn't have tried it, guys. After a quick scan of the actor's breast pocket uncovered no wallet, Querrot tried to fit the mike in Maiden's back pocket. Honest Karl, who never leaves home without either his brains or his traveler's checks, and had never heard of a mike that you sit on, figured immediately that something was fishy. "I'm a frustrated magician," declared a triumphant Malden, "and I caught him in the act."

PLAYING SINGLES: Princess Diana's gotta dance, sometimes by herself. During a ski trip to Switzerland with Prince Charles, Di took off for the Casa Antica nightclub in Klosters, while Charles stayed home watching a video. Di was escorted by Charles's cousin Viscount Linley and a friend, but quickly took command of the evening. Casa Antica deejay Martin Melsome told the London Star, "She was a real stunner.... I couldn't believe it when she came in and introduced herself to me. She asked if I would play her some records. I asked if she still liked Duran Duran, but she wanted Diana Ross's hit Chain Reaction. She did a fantastic rock 'n' roll solo to it." The Princess tried Dancing in the Street (courtesy of Mick Jagger and David Bowie) and Dancing in the Dark (compliments of Bruce Springsteen) before eventually taking a nostalgic turn to Duran Duran's Hungry Like the Wolf. "She didn't look lonely or sad that her husband wasn't there with her," said Melsome. "In fact it was rather the opposite."

NO-LOSE SITUATION: Britain's Hand-Made Pictures knows a sure thing when it sees one. When the company decided to throw a press luncheon to congratulate actor Bob Hoskins on his Oscar nomination for Mona Lisa, it wasn't troubled at all by the fact that, at the time, Hoskins hadn't been nominated. The invitations went out Feb. 5 for the champagne toast Feb. 11, the day the Academy Award nominees were being announced. The roll was read at 5:30 a.m. local time in Los Angeles, nicely coinciding with the British lunch hour, and Hoskins came through as expected. "It was all a bit of a lark," says a spokesman for Hand-Made. "We hoped Bob would get a nomination, and even if he hadn't, his attitude was, 'If I don't win, at least I get a glass of champagne with my mates.' "

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