Picks and Pans Review: Who's That Girl

updated 08/24/1987 AT 01:00 AM EDT

originally published 08/24/1987 AT 01:00 AM EDT

Let's see: four car chases, three fencing scenes, three saved-by-pet-puma scenes. All that originality comes on top of a plot distilled from the worst moments of Arthur, Something Wild, Desperately Seeking Susan, After Hours and any number of other ditzy-young-woman-meets-stuffy-young-man films. The star of this movie, Madonna, is a terrific pop singer and an attractive woman. Director James (At Close Range) Foley, however, spends so much time on massive, obsessive close-ups of her face that it would seem he is confusing his art works; this is a Madonna, not a Mona Lisa. Madonna, playing a just-paroled convict, affects a voice that's a cross between a very nasal Betty Boop and a whiny dentist's drill. She walks with an exaggerated flounce, bats her eyes like mad and generally acts so cute that any civilized person can't but hope that an anvil falls on her tossable little head. She also mush-mouths a lot of lines. Maybe that was a break, since screenwriters Andrew (The Main Event) Smith and newcomer Ken Finkleman think it's funny to have people say things like, "Is it possible for you to be any dumber?" Griffin (After Hours) Dunne is the attorney who gets involved with Madonna. He is, of course, engaged to a silly socialite—Haviland (Sixteen Candles) Morris. The cast includes John Mills as a rich Briton (sorry, John, but you took the money; this goes on your record) and two pumas. These pumas must be the ones who lost the Benji—the Hunted gig and had to take what they could get. (PG)

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