One More Haul for the Garbage Barge

updated 12/28/1987 AT 01:00 AM EST

originally published 12/28/1987 AT 01:00 AM EST

The year saw lapses in judgment and conduct that begged for a sanitary means of disposal. Failing to find one, we consigned offenders to the Mobro 4,000, that infamous garbage scow that could call no port its own. Our skipper is Capt. Glenn Brindel of the USS Stark, rocketed by the Iraqis while, figuratively at least, he was gone fishing. Fleet admiral is John Poindexter, who piped himself overboard during Irangate. Surrogater Mary Beth Whitehead lost her suit for Baby M, then got pregnant, divorced and remarried. Litigator Valerie Harper lost her temper and her place in prime time. Dustin Hoffman and Warren Beatty lost face with Ishtar, which never got over the hump. Raider Ivan Boesky, in hot water for improper trading, turned from preying to praying. Gorby backer Boris Yeltsin was out in the cold after pushing glasnostone step too far. Basketball coach Bobby Knight got hot—again—and yanked his Hoosiers out of a game against the Soviets. No surprise to Shere Hite, who claims women think most men are louts. That's Sean Penn she's booting in the drink again, preceded by the Ollie North doll nobody bought. Arizona's Gov. Ev Mecham put his foot in his mouth about blacks and gays. Lisa Bonet jumped from Cosby to that hot stinker, A Different World, while Robin Leach kept shrilling his way into rich and famous lives. The Monkey Business, on which Gary Hart went adrift, was fit for that canine villain, the pit bull, and Wall Street's bull was on the snorkel. Enough for 1987. Say bon voyage, somebody.

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