Picks and Pans Review: Worship Me or Die!
The Great Kat
There she is, brandishing a guitar on the album cover. With permafrost hair, fangs bared and enough studded leather to open a pit-bull accessory shop, the Great Kat looks like nothing so much as Ozzy Osbourne with breasts. So how does one become a female heavy-metal artist? It's a familiar story. Award-winning Juilliard scholarship student forsakes classical violin after seeing a Judas Priest video and decides to dedicate her life to a blistering form of black metal, which she dubs "hyperspeed." The music is at once pretty silly, brittle and obdurate, like frozen saltwater taffy. It's also about as easy to ingest. Backed by Tom Von Doom on bass and Adam (the Animal) Killa on drums—say, guys, you didn't happen to change your names, did you?—Kat plunges into song after song of amelodic grunge. Her frantic guitar solos sound like a burlap bag full of rats being attacked by ravenous crows. She has a voice like one of those bag ladies who scream nonsensical insults at passersby. Her lyrical stance alternates between random violence, demonology and dominatrix drivel like "Now you shall obey me and be my slave/First you shall beg and grovel/Then you shall do what I say." Sheesh! You may make a great poster for the teenage black T-shirt set, Kat, but for the rest of us, if it comes down to a choice between worshipping you or dying, well, we'll get back to you. (Roadracer)
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