08/22/1988 at 01:00 AM EDT
Dear Jeff Jarvis: Wish you were here instead of on vacation, Pretty clever taking off during the dog days of August, when TV hits its lowest ebb. Sure, leave me here to find something—anything—to recommend to viewers. How about a documentary on the discovery of the electric battery? (PBS, Thurs., Aug. 18, 8 p.m. ET.) A Kate & Allie rerun starring Joe Namath as himself? (CBS, Mon., Aug. 22, 9 p.m. ET.) A Godzilla flick? (TBS, Sat., Aug. 20, 12:05 p.m. ET.) How about a Boston Pops concert with Perry Como? (PBS, Sat., Aug. 20, 8 p.m. ET.) Or a 1981 Simon and Garfunkel reunion, in which they dredge up the 1960s by singing Scarborough Fair and The Sounds of Silence? (PBS, Mon., Aug. 22, 8 p.m. ET.) Anyone for a half-hour interview with Jack Lemmon, other than Jack Lemmon? (A&E, Wed., Aug. 17, 7 a.m. ET.) Yes, Jeff, your timing was great. Although I'm suspending grades on the shows I've reviewed, I'm giving you an F—.