LAW AND ORDERS: Although he gets plenty of praise for his acting, L.A. Law's caddish divorce attorney, Arnie Becker, played by Corbin Bernsen, wouldn't fare very well in the real world of law. Members of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, in a recent meeting in Chicago, voted Arnie an unfit peer whom they would turn down for membership. "We're sending a message that in the emotionally charged area of divorce and family law, practicing lawyers need to maintain the highest ethical standards," said Academy President Leonard L. Loeb in the New York Daily News. Becker can, however, appeal the decision, with good behavior. "Arnie was advised to clean up his act," said Loeb, "and reapply in five years."
CROSSING PARTY LINES: Dixie Carter's liberal lectures on Designing Women are convincing stuff, but it turns out that they rarely reflect her true feelings. According to Carter, they're often more the opinion of Linda Bloodworth-Thomason, the show's creator. "I'm the one who puts forth all Linda's liberal viewpoints and I am in fact a conservative Republican," she says. "That got to me recently because I had a four-page tirade of an extremely liberal bent. I said to Linda, 'You need to twist my toe to make me say all this.' But I'm willing to say it because I respect her, and it's so well written." Wonder if Dixie's toe hurts.
HAIR TO-DO: Nancy Reagan's hairdresser, Robin Weir, has his eyes on second lady-elect Marilyn Quayle. "I would rather do her hair than Mrs. Bush's," he says. "She's the one I'd love to get my rattail comb into." What would he change? "Very little. She's got her own distinct look. If you took away her face, you could still recognize her by her hair—she's got the body and the length, as well as the face. I'd do a little more width in the upper portions. She'd be a princess. I think she'll be the next Jacqueline Kennedy of hair."
WHERE'S MOMMA?: Although thrilled to have been recently inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame, Loretta Lynn has some regrets about a life lived center stage. "I was married at 14, had four kids at 17 and was a grandmother at 29," says Lynn, who doesn't tell her age but was touring in her 20s. "I didn't see my babies cut their first teeth or take their first steps." And while she was out there on the road, the children were taken care of by nannies. "What really hurts me is Mother's Day. It's not me that's mother."
WE'RE QUITE THROUGH, BABE: Unless she's kidding now, Cher's previous expressions of goodwill toward former husband Sonny Bono were less than heartfelt. In Houston to hawk her new perfume, Uninhibited, Cher drew a crowd of 6,000 and was asked how she felt about Bono, also known as the Mayor of Palm Springs. "Do you mean do I like him?" she queried. "No." The crowd roared. Later a fan showed her the first album she produced with Sonny. "God," she said, "that's frightening."
COUNTRY CLUB MENTALITY: Country singer Dwight Yoakam, who says he has never tasted alcohol, thinks reporters lack objectivity about country stars. "When a performer shows up for an interview," says Dwight, "and doesn't go 'Aw shucks' and kick the dirt and need to have coffee showered on him to get him out of a drunken stupor, something just doesn't sit right with the reporter."
KIN WE TALK?: According to author Rita Mae (Rubyfruit Jungle) Brown, family plots are the best way to avoid grave results as a writer. "The first law of literature is to write about your family, which is a group of people with conflicting interests united by blood," says Brown. "You disguise them, but they will pick themselves out and not speak to you for a while. Worse than this, however, is not to write about your family. Then they'll never speak to you."
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