08/28/1995 at 01:00 AM EDT
TOM ARNOLD, IT WAS RECENTLY ANNOUNCED, has signed to star in a movie remake of The Honeymooners. I know fans of that classic series will join me in a groan of dismay. That is like allowing a graffiti artist to spray-paint over a Matisse. Quite without meaning to, I have seen nearly all of Arnold's work. No matter what the role, he is always playing Tom Arnold. If there has to be a remake of The Honeymooners, it would be far better to cast Arnold's fractious ex in the lead. Yeah, Roseanne as bus driver Ralph Kramden—that I'd pay to see. And since you asked: Sandra Bernhard as Norton.