Picks and Pans Review: Terminal Velocity

updated 10/10/1994 AT 01:00 AM EDT

originally published 10/10/1994 AT 01:00 AM EDT

Charlie Sheen, Nastassja Kinski

You could suspend your disbelief from here to Samoa and this lame film still wouldn't make much sense. Sheen, who was a hit in Hot Shots! and The Three Musketeers and a flop in Navy SEALS, is much better at spoofing action heroes than he is at being one. In this case, as a former Olympic gymnast now a skydiving instructor outside Phoenix, he spends most of his time frowning, swaggering and trying to look tough.

Then there's Kinski, who is supposed to be a former KGB agent mixed up in a plot by the Russian mafia to steal a 747 full of Russian government gold and hide it—where else?—in Arizona. Kinski's accent is thick enough for her to pass for Russian, but she looks less than comfortable in her secret agent mode. As for the Sheen-Kinski romance, there would likely be more chemistry between Martin and Klaus than there is between their offspring. (PG-13)

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