Picks and Pans Main: Tube
My favorite new technological advance is the TV set that automatically modulates the volume so that commercials do not come on like gangbusters. Anyone who watches TV knows that commercials blare about 10 times as loud as the programs they interrupt. Curiously, the FCC insists it has looked into this phenomenon and can find no evidence that such a disparity in volume exists. I don't know what method the FCC uses to make such an assertion, but allow me to suggest that they retest their findings, using a simple but fail-safe scientific approach: the Uncle Stan experiment. Just observe whatever relative you may have who habitually dozes in front of the set and note what jolts him or her awake. Invariably it's the hard sell of the commercials. The new audio equalizer (the one John Cleese pitches) is a step in the right direction. Now the Uncle Stans of this world will finally get a decent snooze.
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