Break It Up!
BURT & LONI
Reynolds, 57, and Anderson, 47, turned the end of their five-year marriage into a vicious snit-com. Burt filed for divorce, depicting Loni as a shopping-crazed gold digger. Then he admitted to an affair with a cocktail-lounge manager but claimed Loni had cheated first. A startled Loni denied the charge and wept to reporters, while friends said Burt was too busy working to be a good husband. He should have more free time now that he's lost endorsements and may lose custody of the couple's son Quinton, 5, who lives with Loni. Meanwhile, a Florida court will decide who gets what.
KENNY & MARIANNE
No royal flush for the Gambler this year: Rogers separated from Marianne, his wife of 15 years. The liposuctioned country crooner, 55, and the former Hee Haw Honey, 48, have been at odds since September 1992, when Rogers was charged by three women with coaxing them to listen to sexually explicit phone tapes. That matter is unresolved (one suit was dropped), as is the Rogerses' official status—they still haven't filed for divorce. Another legal hassle: His chain of Kenny Rogers Roasters is being sued by Cluckers Wood Roasted Chicken, Inc., for allegedly stealing culinary secrets.
TED & WHOOPI
America's favorite ex-bartender went from Cheers to jeers faster than you can say Al Jolson. After many months of playing patty-cake with the press. Danson, 45, finally went public with his affection for Goldberg, 44, in an unlikely venue: a racy New York Friars Club roast for Whoopi in October. Danson showed up in blackface and told racial jokes, causing some grizzled comics to blanch and shocked attendee Montel Williams to walk out. But Danson, whose busy year also included a divorce from his wife of 16 years, got plenty of support from an unoffended Goldberg; she even claimed to have scripted some of the jokes. Still, the fallout' from the tasteless display may have poisoned their self-professed "work in progress" relationship, which fizzled in November.
BEAVIS & BUTT-HEAD
They're mean, moronic and say "sucks" too much—but playing with matches is what got MTV's cretinous cartoon duo in trouble. An Ohio mother blamed B & B when her 5-year-old started a fire that killed his younger sister. That led Letterman to cut back on copying their demented chuckle, a senator to include them in a denouncement of TV violence and MTV to ax the earlier of their two time slots. But the backlash hardly dented their popularity or the bank account of creator Mike Judge, 30: Beavis (right) and Butthead have generated a book and a record. Now there's talk of a movie. How about calling it The Joy of Sucks?
WOODY & MIA
In their yearlong battle for custody, Allen, 58, and Farrow, 48, went at it like Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. The issue: Who was the negative force? Finally, in June, a New York judge sided with Mia, calling Allen "self-absorbed" and awarding her custody of biological son Satchel, 6, and their two adopted children. Maybe now both adults can focus more on gags and subplots than on gag orders and subpoenas.
MACAULAY & KIT
Who has all of Hollywood wishing little Macaulay Culkin, 13, were home alone? His father-manager, Kit, 49, a failed actor and successful bully, who has used Mac's movie clout to pick and choose directors, land a role for Mac's little sister and demand changes in his star son's latest film, The Nutcracker. When the producer refused, Dad forbade Mac to promote the movie. Next, the tyke-tycoon has been cast as Richie Rich, provided Pop doesn't get them both run out of town.
TOM & ROSEANNE
Pound for pound the wackiest couple in show business, Roseanne, 40. and her hyper hubby Tom, 34, whipped up a whopping publicity stunt. The Arnolds set off a media seizure when they concocted a bizarre three-way wedding with Kim Silva, 24, the veep of their production company. But Tom soon hinted the whole thing was a ménage à travesty meant to tweak the press. Says Tom: "We're just having some fun." As only the Arnolds can.