04/25/1994 at 01:00 AM EDT
Sheesh, I go away for a few days and what happens? Madonna
decides an appearance on the Late Show would just make a perfect opportunity to impress David Letterman with her encyclopedic knowledge of obscenities and other forms of foul language. Sportscaster Jim Rome uses a national interview to goad pro football player Jim Everett by addressing him as "Chris Evert," repeating the puerile insult until the quarterback finally gels up and attacks him on-camera. And to cap it all off, the Menendez brothers get their own prime-time movie (the first of two). Can't I leave you alone with the TV for a minute?