Picks and Pans Review: Order in the Multiplex!

updated 02/01/1993 at 01:00 AM EST

originally published 02/01/1993 01:00AM

>MADONNA'S MOVIE MISADVENTURE

MOVIE CRITIC ROGER EBERT GAVE IT HALF A STAR SUSAN STARK OF The Detroit News called it "trash." And in Peoria, where sexy is not supposed to "play" without Sturm und Drang, 52 people gathered in a 237-seat theater and giggled. Body of Evidence did not have an opening night to remember. Below, a roundup of reactions from around the U.S.:

THEATER

Loew's Fresh Pond Cinema, Cambridge, Mass.

Marketplace Cinemas, Marina del Key, Calif.

Water Tower Theatre, Chicago

Pembroke Pines 8, Fort Lauderdale

United Artists East Theater, Manhattan

Renaissance Theatre, Detroit

AUDIENCE REACTION

Belly laughs that dwindled to snorts and cackles

Sighs, coughs, nose blowing

Gasps of discomfort during hot-wax scene

Chuckles at reference to nipple clamps

Applause at Madonna's first nude scene; laughs when Anne Archer calls her a "coke-head slut"

A combination of laughter and squirming during S & M stuff

OVERHEARD REMARKS

"Stupid and contusing."

"I'm thinking about sneaking into A Few Good Men."

"Joe Mantegna does it for me."

"I'm traumatized. Madonna must work out all the time.

"She's got ugly panties."

"Without the sex, it could have been a made-for-TV movie."

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