Fashion Fission

updated 12/11/1989 AT 01:00 AM EST

originally published 12/11/1989 AT 01:00 AM EST

Mike Nichols and Diane Sawyer came off "well-kept, nice and neat" to Nutter. Too neat, says Buatta, "Why don't they part their hair on the same side?" Brown can't get past her buckle: "It could be used as a weapon." Ford is a fan, though. "It's a sexual look for Diane, very sensual."

Maybe Bruce Springsteen and Patti Scialfa should stay closer to Jersey. "It's Bruce gone country lace," Ford says. Nutter has a tip: "His jacket might look better on her. Did it come with a skirt?"

Those legs! Those eyes! As Brown puts it: "When you're really rich, you aren't afraid to dress like a grammar-school girl." She's referring to Malcolm Forbes. Nutter cautions Elizabeth Taylor: "This isn't the right look for her; if she's not careful, she goes frumpy." He gives thumbs-up, however to Fergie's solid-black skirt: "It helps slim down the hips a bit." As for Prince Andrew, "He's wearing the same dress I wore in Catholic school," says Brown, "except I looked better in it."

River Phoenix can get away with jeans and sneakers, but Martha Plimpton catches head-to-toe grief for her outfit. "Why would a young girl wear a babushka?" Ford asks. Buatta thinks her dress "looks like it's going to be a skirt any second." Nutter mutters, "Why not wear carpet slippers when you go out?"

Tommy Nutter thinks Rosanna Arquette and Peter Gabriel "look quite jolly" together, but almost everybody vetoes the Mickey Mouse motif. "The coat used to be a blanket, and I can tell you, it should have stayed what it was," says Buatta. Sums up Ford: "Why don't we just call a little attention to ourselves?"

Goldie Hawn's and Kurt Russell's fur collars lead Nutter to wonder if it's "some sort of cult thing." Brown says Goldie's outfit "looks like a sweater she got at a thrift store and sewed part of a bathroom rug on the collar." Kurt's jacket, she adds, "looks like a blanket you have in the back of your car."

Mimi Rogers has Tom Cruise, in a dinner suit the judges praised as "classic," but what's going on in her closet? The dress reminds Buatta of "a pair of curtains I made in 1960." "It has just too much going on," chides Nutter. "You just really didn't need that bow at the front."

Bruce Willis gets points for his tux, but Demi Moore's Oscar gown still confounds. "I know bicycle pants are in," says Ford, "but I can't relate." Neither can Buatta. "She forgot her dress at home or her skirt fell off."

Does it matter what Kevin Costner and wife Cindy wear? "I can't say anything about perfection," says Ford. "He's just a beautiful being, and she's the perfect complement." We'll leave it at that.

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