Picks and Pans Review: The No-Sex Handbook
Here's the ideal something for those who have been swept up in, or swept under the rug by, that recent phenomenon, the asexual counterrevolution.
What Pettler, a TV writer-producer, and Heckerling, probably best known as the director of such films as Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Look Who's Talking, have compiled is a fast, flip guide to avoiding that ultimate relationship miner—physical intimacy.
To live up to what they call the "Zero-Sex Philosophy," they advise women to wear "that yellowish cardigan from eighth grade that you didn't throw away because it's still useful despite the moth-holes" and if men tell them they have nice eyes, to respond, "If I want your opinion, I'll ask for it."
The better to sow confusion and prevent any incursions of passion among potential backsliders, they urge men to be on the alert for such things as a woman who uses Sweet 'n Low, a sure sign she is "wearing falsies"; and to indulge in such man-repelling activities as having a home full of "useless kitchen gadgets and peculiar record collections not available in any store."
There probably aren't all that many people who are in need of any of the tips in the last chapter, "If All Else Fails, How to Ruin a Relationship." Other than that, however, this is an ideal book for the '90s and for future generations, too, as long as there are any future generations. (Warner, paper, $6.95)