Picks and Pans Review: Paintings in My Mind
If you ever doubted that good looks can at least sometimes count as much as talent, check out Page's second record.
Page could have had a dazzling career as a model for the J. Crew catalog. Instead he chooses to parade his pretty-boy mug and outdoorsy sportswear in record album photos that unfortunately come with music. And he sells the stuff.
Page has the look of the hero of a trashy romance novel; he also performs like one. His lyrics, delivered with the cloying whisper/whine of an overage teen, consist of one cliché after another—he comes as close as anyone can get to stringing words together without saving anything.
His simple melodies might emit naive charm if they weren't cushioned in overproduction that goes to laughable extremes. On some songs, the list of engineers and studio musicians rivals the printed lyrics in length.
No need to feel sorry for Page. Plenty of folks like him anyway. His 1988 debut album went platinum in Malaysia, Taiwan and Singapore. It produced a single, "Shoulder to Cry On," that hit Billboard's national charts. His sappy first single from this album, "I'll Be Your Everything," instantly hit the Top 20, perhaps because the song's utter stateness makes it perversely entertaining.
Page, who used to work as a coat-check attendant at the snooty Manhattan nightclub Nell's, toured last year as the opening act for the New Kids on the Block. His music makes theirs sound deep, and maybe that requires a sort of talent after all. (Sire)
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