Picks and Pans Review: Excerpt

UPDATED 06/02/1997 at 01:00 AM EDT Originally published 06/02/1997 at 01:00 AM EDT

>LOVE'S LABORS FOUND

FRESH FROM A DIVORCE, KATHY Hinckley, 48, a genealogist from Denver, worked up the nerve to rebuild her social life by writing a personal ad. That's when she stumbled on a problem. "I'm not a Barbie doll," says Hinckley, who began pondering how, exactly, to fairly and flatteringly describe her well-rounded physique.

At a loss, she flipped through the ads themselves for inspiration and found this model of poetic brevity: Plain Fat Chick Seeks Guy Who Likes Broccoli. "All the rest of the ad said was, 'Write soon,' " says Hinckley, who instantly realized that reading the personals was a lot more fun than writing one of them. She borrowed the broccoli ad for the title of her new book (Gibbs Smith, $6.95), a collection of 200 personals, including these, penned by lonelyhearts around the country:—Backfires Occasionally: 1960 bachelor, white with brown top, two-seater (not a family car), rips mile in 7:00, doesn't smoke, sluggish on cold mornings, 77" long, great fenders, no rust.

—I'm a Nut: Adventurous like a macadamia, sweet as a praline and a smile like a butternut. I pick out the good ones that I enjoy. You: A primo cashew, slightly coconuts, and definitely not a goober or a filbert.

—Mentally Ill? Are you restrained in a straight-jacket? Do you think you're a chicken? Did you kill and eat your last boyfriend? I don't mind. This tall, educated SWM would like to meet an interesting woman!

—Hard Up & Desperate: SWF, 39, looks older and fatter. Mean, bossy, possibly schizophrenic. Hates skiing, hiking, camping, music, long walks. Loves Las Vegas, Scotch, intelligence. Call me if you smoke.

Your Reaction

Follow Us

On Newsstands Now

Robin Roberts: How Loved Saved Me
  • Robin Roberts: How Loved Saved Me
  • Emma and Andrew: All About Hollywood's Cutest Couple
  • Prince George! More Yummy Photos

Pick up your copy on newsstands

Click here for instant access to the Digital Magazine

Advertisement

From Our Partners

Watch It

Editors' Picks

From Our Partners



Sign up for our daily newsletter and other special offers.
    Choose your newsletters
Thank you for signing up! Your request may take up to one week to be processed.
    see all newsletters