Picks and Pans Review: Pirate Tales
Here's one you probably won't find in the bartender's guide. According to this semidocumentary, a favorite libation of old-time buccaneers was the Blow Me Down, consisting of two parts rum, two parts gin and a stiff dose of gunpowder. Tempting as that may sound, we advise you to avoid strong drink during Pirate Tales. Alcohol is a depressant, and this four-hour voyage is soporific already.
Though loaded with colorful characters like Henry Morgan and William Kidd, the miniseries manages to achieve boredom through a mixture of stiff, silent re-enactments, clichéd voice-over narration and largely pedestrian contributions from high-seas historians. But better dull than ridiculous, which is the only word for Roger Daltrey's role as a 17th-century pirate-commentator who growls and quaffs fake grog on a cheesy little shipboard set that looks to have been salvaged from a third-grade production of Peter Pan.