Picks and Pans Review: Pirate Tales

updated 08/25/1997 at 01:00 AM EDT

originally published 08/25/1997 01:00AM

TBS (Sun., Aug. 24, and Sun., Aug. 31, 9 p.m. ET)

D+

Here's one you probably won't find in the bartender's guide. According to this semidocumentary, a favorite libation of old-time buccaneers was the Blow Me Down, consisting of two parts rum, two parts gin and a stiff dose of gunpowder. Tempting as that may sound, we advise you to avoid strong drink during Pirate Tales. Alcohol is a depressant, and this four-hour voyage is soporific already.

Though loaded with colorful characters like Henry Morgan and William Kidd, the miniseries manages to achieve boredom through a mixture of stiff, silent re-enactments, clich├ęd voice-over narration and largely pedestrian contributions from high-seas historians. But better dull than ridiculous, which is the only word for Roger Daltrey's role as a 17th-century pirate-commentator who growls and quaffs fake grog on a cheesy little shipboard set that looks to have been salvaged from a third-grade production of Peter Pan.

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